Generation Six, Chapter One [We Met Among the Roses]

Generation Six, Chapter One

{We Met Among the Roses}

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Mama,

 Auntie Lucuma just came back from an important meeting with some other suits, and I’m so excited!  She’s been gone for a week and even though Grandma and Grandpa are really cool, I’ve missed her a lot.  She said that we’re going to come visit you and daddy today.  Aunt Summer just had a baby!  They said that she’s going to come by soon so I can meet him.  Mama, you’d love Summer.  She’s so nice.  Ever since she moved out to live with her husband, I’ve been a little lonely, but that’s okay.  I’ve been reading a lot of books and it keeps me entertained.  I love reading stories.  Auntie says that you and daddy lived through a lot of stories.  She says that you guys lived through so much adventure that I don’t need any.  But Mama, I really want a story of my own.  Maybe something with dragons!  Or pirates!  That’d be so cool.

I have to go, Mama.  Auntie says that I need to study and then we can come visit you!

I love you,

Cicely Rose Liddell

*~*~*

 The world really is such a wonderful place.  Perhaps that’s why they called it Wonderland, because of how beautiful the creases and corners are.  Even now, in this gloomy cemetary, the world seems ancient and utterly beautiful, with old souls running around with fairies.

Well, actually, probably not.  Auntie Lucuma says I have a very active imagination.

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“Cici, don’t wander off, please.  We’re here to visit your parents.”

Auntie Lucuma pressed a hand to my shoulder to steer me in the right direction, and I quietly complied.  She was right, I could always come back and talk to the ghosts another time.

We reached the far point of the cemetary, where Mama and Daddy were buried.  Auntie Lucuma made sure that there were always fresh flowers and candles there, so we could let them know that we still care about them.  Today was no different as I set down a new vase of flowers for my mama, and watched as Auntie Lucuma set down a strange looking bottle next to daddy’s as I set my letter near the vase I had just put down.

“What’s that?”

Auntie Lucuma smiled, but it was a sad smile.  It was always like that when we came here.  “Your daddy would appreciate a drink every now and again.”

She laughed a little bit, but the humor was lost on me.  It didn’t look like any other normal drink, but I knew better than to keep asking.  I never really liked seeing Auntie Lucuma cry.

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The wind blew softly as we visited, carrying whispers of lost souls and fairy wings beating in the moonlight.  We never visited during the day, but I never really questioned that, either.

I stood up, wanted to visit everyone else, too.

“Where are you going?”  Auntie Lucuma said, looking up at me.  She was crouched down between Mama and Daddy’s graves, talking to them both.

I shrugged.  “I think there are other lonely people here that I want to talk to.”

She pressed her lips into a hard line but allowed it anyways.  “Alright, but don’t stray too far.  It’s dark out.”

I nodded before skipping towards more graves, noting the pretty flowers that seemed to lay everywhere.  Blue, purple, yellow, red.  So many pretty colors brought together through so much sadness.  It’s a shame.

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Tripping over a stray stone brought me back to the world, and I fell right down and skinned my knee.  “Ow,” I whined, watching the scarlet droplets begin to pool on my kneecap.  “Auntie, I fell!”

I looked up and around, waiting for her reply, but it didn’t come.  Actually, now that I was looking, none of this looked very familiar.  My stomach began to feel weird as more time went on.  Where did she go?”

“You look a little lost,” a gentle voice said, scaring me.  I let out a small squeak as a man appeared from behind some bushes, and inched away from him.  “Don’t worry, little one, I don’t bite.  Are you alone?”

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I just stared at him.  Auntie said I shouldn’t talk to strangers, even if this one seemed nice.  “I’m not supposed to talk to weird people.”

“Weird?”  He frowned.  “What makes me weird?”

I eyed him and stood up.  “You have strange markings on your arm.”

“And you’re wearing strange boots.  Are you weird?”

Now I was frowning.  I quite liked my boots.

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The man laughed and returned to smiling.  “Where are your parents?”

“I don’t have any parents,” I said suddenly, my eyes feeling kinda funny.  “It’s just me and my Auntie here.”

The strange man frowned again.  “You’ve never met your parents?”

I looked away from him.  “They’re dead.”

He came closer to me, but I wasn’t as scared as before.  Actually, I was beginning to feel a bit calmer.  “My name is Boris,” the man said.  “What’s your name?”

“Cicely,”  I said.  Now that he was closer, I could see that he was wearing weird clothes, and had a strange flower on his eye.  “I’m Cicely Rose.”

“Well Cicely, I have an offer for you.”

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I simply watched him as my reply.  He seemed to pick up on that and went along with it.  “I can make it so you can dream about your parents every night.”

My heart beat rapidly as I met his eyes.  “How?”

He smiled down at me.  “You just have to agree to a deal with me.”

I nodded quickly.  “Okay, what kind of deal?”

He tapped my knee, and suddenly it didn’t hurt anymore. Like magic. “When you’re old enough, you’ll belong to me.  And you’re going to have to give something up in return for now.”

I beamed at him.  “Anything.”

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He gave me one last smile before placing his hands over my eyes, causing my eyelids to flutter closed.  I felt my own smile grow.  I could finally meet my parents!  And in my dreams, we could do anything together.  We could have fun.  We could love each other.

It took me a few minutes to realize that Boris was gone, and I heard Auntie Lucuma screaming my name from some place.  I tried to open my eyes to look for her, but they weren’t working.  I even touched my eyelids to make sure that they were open. Strange.

It would take me even longer to realize that I was now blind.

*~*~*

Cicely!

Have any of you ever played Ib?  I’m pretty sure that’s where I derived the idea of this generation from, but otherwise the classic story this generation is based on is The Legend of Sleepy Hallow.

This is the only chapter that currently has screenshots BUT I will be working on the next few asap.  You’re all so lovely and patient.

-Haley

update and some other stuff

hi,

so sterling’s generation is FINALLY over, and we’re moving on to cicely’s.  i’m trying to prewrite most of her generation so all i have to do is go in and take pictures and maybe have some sort of regular update schedule, but that’s never happened before and isn’t really my style so we’ll see lol.

so i’m also working on something that may or may not go anywhere over here that is super under construction but HEY it’s a sims 4 project so it’s new territory for me!!! wow!!!

anyways, here’s some cuteness for you.  Summer and her husband Plum had a beautiful baby who looks like a carrot idk ❤ pacific’s eyes are still going strong from generation two lol.

and here’s some pics i took for cicely

the new banner over at the forums

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and cicely’s actual banner/signature thing

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soooo…yeah.  some stuff happening.  i’m also trying to juggle three jobs and some stuff for an apartment for when i go back to school, so i really apologize if this stuff is slow going.  hopefully it won’t take me like three years to finish cicely’s generation lmao.

also, make sure you’re reading Arrowleaf’s Landon Legacy and Callie’s Lilac Legacy.

and last but not least, i placed first in may’s monthly simlit challenge!  i’m so happy everyone liked absolution. ❤

again, thank you for all of your support.  you’re all so kind and patient and make this all so worth it.

-Haley

Meet Cicely Rose ♥

Mama,

When I was younger, I wasn’t afraid of anything.  I didn’t have the slightest fear of dying, and if I did, it wasn’t anything big, or special, it just was. I didn’t have dreams of the outside world, has no desire to exist with the rest of humanity. But then I met a certain person, and suddenly, that’s all changed.  And now I don’t know which direction I’m going.

I don’t know if I’m afraid to die, but I know I’m afraid of not living.

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Cicely grew up hidden from the world, the public vaguely aware of her existence.  With the help of her Aunt Lucuma, she came to be a lovely and well-behaved young lady who never had the desire to leave the comfort of everything she has always known.  But a chance encounter with a strange individual with glowing eyes changes her life, and the temptation of the unknown becomes increasingly harder to ignore…

As her dreams of a perfect life persist, reality seems to shift.

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The generation song is probably going to be this.  Who knows though.

This generation would be considerably lighter than Sterling’s, I think.  I think we’re all sick of heartbreak lol and being in Sterling’s headspace is weird to say the least. RIP tho I love you Sterly. ❤

There’s probably still going to be depressing stuff because y’all know me.  But I guess this all depends on if you guys want me to continue?  Or was Sterling enough?

Love you guys always,

-Haley

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Generation Five, Chapter Twelve: [Glooming Peace]

Generation Five, Chapter Twelve:

{Glooming Peace}

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A room full of angry, old, and powerful people could really kill someone’s vibe.

I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes almost constantly as they bickered, more than once getting a reassuring but forceful glance from Melodic.  Absolem and Duck were in a passive-agressive arguement, something that political leaders were extremely skilled at.  I had my case, and was eager to just get this over with.  I needed time to process all of this information by myself with an enormous bottle of wine, but since being appointed an ambassador, I had rarely had a moment for myself since…

Duck practically screaming at Absolem to “fuck the treaty” was my cue to interrupt.

“Gentlemen,” I said cooley, trying to hide my frustration.  “I’d like to present to you some information to take into consideration before continuing your conversation.”

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The two leaders turned towards me, Absolem’s kind eyes giving me strength.  He and Duck shared a glance before he gestured for me to come closer.  “The floor is yours, Lucuma.”

“Thank you sir,” I said, walking to the center of the room.  All eyes were on me–which is something I used to revel and make money for, but now, it just felt wrong.  “As you both know, the prince and I knew each other very well.”

Duck scoffed and muttered “whore” underneath his breath, but I didn’t let the comment get to me.  I had been called worse.  “Sure, I was his whore, let’s go with that.  But it doesn’t change the fact that your granddaughter is dead, so let’s continue.”

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I opened the file I had in my hand, and placed it on the table in front of the men.  “These are orders we obtained from Ace Liddell, who up until recently, was Mr.Anders’ prisoner.”  I could feel Duck’s piercing glare on me, but didn’t allow him to fuck my shit up.  “His granddaughter, Mint Julip Anders, was ordered to kill Sterling Liddell.”

Across the table, Melodic closed her eyes and gripped the edge of her seat, the only indicator that she was truly feeling despair.  I felt it, too, but I had a job to do.  “I was there when they met.  There was no animosity.  We only figured what Ms.Anders’ true intentions were after Mr.Liddell had been injured.”

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I paused, taking a breath to collect myself.  The next part would be hard.

“Two months ago, I witnessed Mr.Liddell leave the bar we were at with Ms.Anders, and he was not seen again for another month.  On the night of his death, he came and saw myself and Ms.Desert before leaving again.”

I fought the naseau that had overtaken me, the story nearing it’s end.  “It was clear that Mr.Liddell had no ill-intentions towards Ms.Anders.  I think they simply wanted to escape the war going on between our countries, and look what happened.”  I left out the part about how Sterling seemed completely mad and definetely had something in mind for Julip that didn’t seem pleasant–not to mention that their actual intentions were not known. “I truly think the war should end with them.  This entire ordeal began because of Viper, and because of it, two children on both sides are dead.  I think the conflict should be buried with them.  It was always about them, right?”  I said, looking directly at Duck.  He looked away from me, clearly defeated.  “That’s what I thought.  Do your grandchildren justice by laying this to rest.”

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I turned away to take my place on the other end of the table. Melodic didn’t meet my eyes but I could tell she was pleased.  We watched as the two men sat in silence, seemingly having a mental conversation.  We both held our breath as Absolem stood abruptly, followed by Duck.

We both rejoiced silently as they shook hands.  The war was over.

*~*~*

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Later that night, I was in my new room, his room, at the Liddell’s when a knock came at my door.

“Dusty, you can just come in, you don’t have to knock,” I slurred, pretty numb from the alcohol.  “Get in here.”

Dusty complied but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw my apperance. She had taken to wearing her hair down almost all the time now, and it only made her look a little fuzzier.  I must’ve been a sight, still dressed in my clothes from the meeting but absolutely trashed.  She sighed and took a seat next to me.  I cuddled up to her, resting my head on her shoulders.

“Today is my birthday,” She started, leaning her head against mine, “My actual eighteenth birthday.”

“Happy birthday girl,” I said, handing my bottle to her.  “Drink up.”

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She closed her eyes and sighed, and swiftly pushed the bottle back at me.  “I can’t, Luc.”

“Oh please, don’t worry about it being illegal,” I said sarcastically, “God knows he drank here all the time.”

The mention of him made her wince.  “Luc, I think I’m pregnant.”

That had me sitting right up.  “Is it-“

She nodded.  “There’s neva’ been anyone else.”

“Oh,”  I said quietly, “how long–?”

“I think about three months.  I’m not sure.”  She paused before beginning to cry.  “I don’t know what to do!”

Even in my drunken state, I was able to throw my arms around her and pull her close to me.  “It’s okay girlie, you’re gonna be okay.  We’ll take care of you.”

She smiled back and closed her eyes.  “Alrigh’.  I trust ya’.”

*~*~*

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 I learned that the world was truly unfair after that.

It was bad enough that my sister had taken off the night she turned eighteen, it was also the same night that Dusty went into labor.

I rushed to the hospital as soon as I heard, meeting Melodic in the (mostly) empty lobby. I had seen Dusty that morning, uncomfortable, but absolutely glowing.  After dealing with Endive, it’d be nice to see Dusty’s smiling face.

“This baby is a blessing,” she had said, beaming.  “Now we have a piece of him.”

“Where is she, is it time yet?”  I asked excitedly, wanting to latch on to anything to distract me.

Melodic’s eyes lowered as she put a hand on my shoulder.  “There were some…complications.”

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I knew Melodic was never one for uneccessary words.  My stomach dropped as I pleaded with her with my eyes.  She shook her head.

“Dusty didn’t make it.”

 I dropped to the floor instantly, the full implications of her words weighing down on my shoulders.  How could she be gone?  I had just talked to her that morning.  She was having a bowl of cereal talking to Summer about baby stuff, like clothes and what color to paint the nursery, even names.  Dusty was like a light that couldn’t be snuffed out.

And now that light was gone.

Or so I thought.

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Cicely Rose was the prettiest baby I had ever seen.  I didn’t realize it, but I had been pleading with the universe that she would inherit something of his, his eyes (so beautiful they envied oceans), his hair (dark and flowing like a field), or even his skintone.  The universe responded with Cicely’s long, jaded baby locks, Dusty’s sun-kissed skin, and her golden eyes that radiated happiness.

Cicely made me feel like I had a purpose.  While I had been offered an estate of my own with my new status, I had opted to stay with the Liddell’s (with their permission, of course), to be a part of her life.  After all, she was a part of the two who had shaped the rest of my life.

The rest of my life…I hadn’t given that much thought.  I knew I’d never love again, there was no more room in my heart for anyone else.  I would never be able to go back to my old job or house–too many ghosts. I was set with a new job and new responsibilities, but when I came home, what was there?

Cicely was there.

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That little girl had the whole world ahead of her.  I would do my best to help her get there, wherever she was going.

Besides, I owed it to them.  Sterling had taken care of me for so long, and Dusty and I were sisters in sorrow.  It was only right that I looked after their daughter when they couldn’t.

“Oh my little desert rose,” I said, holding her close, “if only they could see you.  They would love you as much as I do and more.”

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And I knew I was right.

*~*~*

THAT’S IT.  That’s the end! Sterling’s generation has officially drawn to a close…two years later lmao.

Not entirely sure what I’ll be doing from here.  I would love to continue on to Cicely, and I have everything actually written in doc on here with my plans for her generation from like, years ago lol.  Not the chapters, just like an overview of what it’d be like, but I’m not sure if I wanna take it there or not.  I’ll make a little post about her like a typical heir vote probably and you guys can take a look.

Dusty’s full name is Dusty Rose Desert in case anyone was confused at the beginning.  I don’t think I’ve ever actually used her last name in any of the chapters, except for when Sterling called her his desert rose, (which Lucuma calls Cicely…)

Thanks for everything.  See you guys around 🙂

-Haley

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Generation Five, Chapter Eleven [Holy Kiss]

Generation Five, Chapter Eleven

{Holy Kiss}

AN: This chapter is also insane.  I don’t want to add a trigger warning because I don’t want to spoil what happens (as if it already hadn’t been established), but if you’re sensitive to morbid things, be cautious.

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Angels and demons didn’t exist.

If they did, then Dusty was a sweet, delicate angel–I was a heartless, cold demon.

In my frenzy to chase Julip down, my trek had led me in front of Lucuma’s home, and my mania had me banging on her door, the cheap wood almost splintering beneath my fingers.

“Who the hell is destroying my door-“

She’s like a bullet through an ocean

Lucuma’s insult died on her lips when she saw it was me.  Her eyes went wide and her arms dropped to her sides, no doubt a million things running through her mind.  It was unlike me to go so long without contacting her, if it had been as long as I thought it was.  What day was it? Had Julip and I been together for a few days, a month, a year?

Lucuma shut the door behind her as she looked me up and down.  “Where have you been, Sterling?”

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“I can’t…talk about it.”  I whispered, my head pounding.

“You can’t talk about you’ve been MIA for a month?  And you look like a mess.  When was the last time you took your meds? Nevermind, I have some still saved for you.  Let me go get them.” She turned to open the door again before trying to shut it again behind her.  I promptly stuck my foot in the door.

“You’re not letting me come in?”

Lucuma looked away from me and seemed to lack the proper words.  “Well, uh, you see, I kinda-“

I still remember how you moved so slow

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“Luc, who’s knockin’ on ‘tha door?”

The world seemed to stop at the sound of her voice.  Lucuma’s alarm was evident on her face as my eyes darted between her and trying to see past the door.  “She’s been staying with you?”  I growled, sounding crazed, (because really, I was.)

“She needed a place-”  I cut Lucuma off as I shoved past her, the door nearly flying off the hinges.  There, in the dim lighting, stood my angel in the flesh, her hair down for a change, the waves tumbling down her back and around her face.  Her face flushed upon seeing me, and we stared at each other for a brief moment.

“Sterling,” Dusty said quietly, “It’s been-“

Dusty didn’t finish her sentence before I closed the space between us with a bruising kiss, my hands flying to the sides of her face as she gripped me with such a force it was entirely possible that her nails digging in to my skin made me bleed.  I poured as much emotion as I could into the kiss, because really, I had missed her.  I dreamt of her, I thought of her.  She responded in kind, pressing herself against me as much as she could, biting my lip in the process.  It wasn’t a kind kiss to be sure–but it was sincere, passionate, needy–everything we had missed in the last month.

Now we’re even
We don’t stop till someone’s bleeding

“I love you, Dusty,”  I whispered in between kisses, “I fucking love you.  I want you to know that.”

She kissed me harder, pausing once to breathe.  “I know.”

I don’t know how long we went on like that.  We knew exactly what we were doing, holding each other close; it didn’t feel like hello, it felt like goodbye.  (Which is what it was.)

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I pulled away.  “I need to go.”

She grabbed my wrist as I went to leave.  “Stay.”

I turned back to kiss her forehead one last time.  “I can’t.”

She nodded, a single tear falling down her face.  She looked so beautiful and so vulnerable, it made my heart (if it was still beating–was it?) ache.  “Don’t get lost out there, ‘ya hear me?  Come back ‘ta me.”

I wasn’t in any state of mind to reply, so I simply gazed at her like she was the only thing in the world that mattered.

‘Cause I’ve broken bones for you, and for you only

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I turned to Lucuma, who, for all intents and purposes, looked extremely pissed off.  “You think you can just come in here, do that, and fucking leave?”

“Are you going to stop me?”

Give me your heart and your hand and we can run

The words hung in the air like a storm, rain drowning Lucuma’s reply.  She crossed her arms and looked away from me, clearly hurt by my words.  I wondered briefly what it’d be like to take Julip’s switch blade and carve a smile on her face, so she’d always be happy.  When she found her voice again, it was broken.  “Is this goodbye?”

I nodded, and she swallowed before uncrossing her arms.  “You think you can just leave me, Sterling?”  She smiled, tears falling down her face.  “Leave us? Where are you even going?  What are we…what will I do without you?”

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 I crossed over to her and took her in my arms, the action the final breaking point for her.  I held her as she sobbed, her tears staining my shirt.  I pulled away for a moment to press my wallet into her hands, and then took a full step back.  “That has everything.  My credit card, my cash, my list of other places that I have access for money,”  She blinked up at me, clearly not knowing what to say.  I should’ve done this a long time ago, but she probably wouldn’t have let me.  “My family will always provide for you.  Do me a favor, and don’t go back to that place.  Either of you,”  I added, not daring to look at Dusty.  “You’re going to do great things, Luc.  Live your life.  You deserve so much more than what I can give you.”

She smiled through her tears, her voice clearly strained.  “You’re a bastard, you know that?”

I wasn’t able to return the smile, my mind spinning and revolving back to Julip, my next task at hand.  “I know.”

I moved to go to the door, but stopped before opening it.  “It was always going to end like this, you know that.”

“Right.”  She said.  “I love you, Sterling.”

Permanently yours

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I responded by making a quick exit, too much time lost already.  The final click behind me served as a trigger for the rest of my goal.  The two most important women in my life quickly disappeared from my mind as I focused on one thing, one person.

You own her.

Sometimes the moon looks brighter than the sun

She was mine.  She belonged to me.  She would see that, or I would force her to.

Finding her was a matter of process of elimination.  She wouldn’t run back home, she didn’t have enough time.  She wasn’t sentimental, so she wouldn’t be in the bar that we had visited so long ago.  There was only one place left.

As times like this run up my wrist

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I found her in a grove of trees, sitting on a bench facing away from me.  Her quiet sobs only served to fuel me further as I drew nearer.  She didn’t flinch when I sat next to her, she didn’t look at me, but she knew.

She hates all of the guts and blood

“We can’t keep doing this,” She started, curled up.  “This doesn’t have a happy ending.  There’s no redemption for what we’ve been doing.  There’s no explanation for anything.  We can’t turn back.”

“We shouldn’t.”

If you can’t have her…

“So what happens now?  We’re in too deep.  We’re both insane.”

No one can have her…

“If I can’t have you, Mint,” I breathed, “No one can.”

She looked up at me, her eyeliner smeared across her face, eyes defeated and sad.  It was absolutely enticing.  “I never wanted this, you know.  I don’t know how we got here.”

“This is Wonderland, my dear,” I said, moving closer.  “Not everything makes sense. It never did.  You, me, our families, us.  Look around you.  Is this place even real?”

Her eyes scanned the space in front of her.  “I’m not sure anymore.  I don’t know if anything is real.”

“We are,” I said, feeling as though the trees were closing in.  “But we don’t have to be.”

But baby no, sometimes things don’t work out the way we planned

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Julip stood up slowly, shoving a hand in her pocket.  It emerged with a small container, the color of a sunset.  She turned and offered it to me.  “There’s enough for two.”

I nodded, and stood with her.  “How long will it take?”

“Not long.  No more than a few minutes.”

I took a capsule from her, and gestured for her to follow me.  I sat down in a bed of flowers, leaning against a tree.  She sat down next to me, and entwined her free hand with mine.  Julip smiled, a wicked, twisted smirk, and began laughing.  “Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake.”

I grinned as she laid her head against my shoulder.  “Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.”

To live is just to fall asleep

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We slid our pills into our mouths at the same time, a pleasant warmth exploding on my tongue as the poison seeped into my mouth.  Julip slumped against me as the world began to blur, a smile on my lips.

Perhaps in the after life, we could try again.  If the divines were kind, maybe next time, we wouldn’t meet, to save ourselves from this tragedy.  But this was always meant to be, and I had a feeling that if any other reality we met again, the result would be the same.  This was a fate we brought upon ourselves, woven by our families, taken into our own hands.

We were not saints.  We were hell on earth, leaving destruction in our wake.  We tainted lives with our blood, just like our father did before us–and we loved every second of it.

Ever since I laid eyes on her, and hers on me, it was over.  Our sin was set in stone.  Mine came crashing down around us, and hers lay idle beside me, waiting to join mine on the ground.

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My heartbeat slowed down, and I tilted my head back against the tree.  The world seemed picturesque; beautiful, even, as it began to slip from me.  The weight of everything lifted away from me, my ultimate fantasy coming in to play.

For the first time in eighteen years, I finally felt at peace.

To die is to awaken.

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{For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.}

*~*~*

Lyrics to ‘Million Dollar Houses’ by Pierce the Veil.

Oh man, are those the generation song’s lyrics in the chapter??…that must mean we’re almost done.

I don’t even listen to Pierce the Veil anymore lol, but this was Sterling’s song from the start and I think it belongs in this chapter.

Don’t worry, it doesn’t end like this.  We’re going to tie up the loose ends before the actual end.

Also I took this picture because if this story had a happy ending then this is how their reunion really SHOULD have looked like.

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-Haley

Generation Five, Chapter Ten [Ripening Breath]

Generation Five, Chapter Ten

{Ripening Breath}

AN: Just so you know, this chapter is really insane.  Drug/Alcohol/Sexual themes ahead.

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Being on the run with Julip was a rush.

Drink til I’m dead, toast to my life

It was like I was constantly high–which, I was from time to time, but within the month time span we had been on the run together, I had never felt higher than when she held my hand.  We were constantly moving, living in hotels or abandoned houses, even camping in less than reputable places.  None of it mattered, though, because I had Julip.

The thought that she could murder me at any time gave me some sick thrill–it was like a constant adrenaline rush that I readily accepted.  Was any of this sane?  No.  Was any of this acceptable? No.  Were her intentions innocent? Absolutely not.

Forget about it all in the process
Holding my breath, cold for the night
Difficult to know what the cost is

She told me about my father, about his family.  She was employed by them to kill me, to get back at my country.  Apparently, her family had been close with Viper’s her entire life, so she had some sort of personal vendetta against us Liddells to begin with.  They were going to start by killing me, then my mother, and work from there.  Killing the heirs of Sugar Valley would render Wonderland confused and power hungry so the Clover Suit could take the throne.  It was genius, really.

Too bad Julip had to go and get involved with me.

She never let me touch her.  She would let me hold her, sure.  Grab her hand with mine.  But there was no more kissing, and nothing past that, either.  It was all extremely confusing considering our encounter in the ally, and really only reminded me of Dusty’s innocence.

Dusty.  She held a special place in my heart, my golden angel that begged me for redemption.  When I closed my eyes, she was all I could see, her fair skin and honey colored eyes, my name falling from her lips.  She was too perfect for me–that much I knew.  Julip was the right amount of insane for me, haunted eyes, dangerous antics.  But I knew this couldn’t last forever.

Call it what you want

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“Why don’t you just kill me,” I whispered to Julip one night, holding her in an embrace.  “It’ll be so much harder when the time comes if you keep putting it off.”

“I could kill you at any time I want, Sterling,” She replied, turning away from me.  “Don’t think I won’t.”

Tell me that I’m fucked up
Tell me that I’m wrong, that I’m right

I knew she wasn’t serious.  If she wanted me dead, I would’ve been.  That didn’t stop me from fantasizing about her death, though, a thought that was more forthcoming each and every day.  I had dreamed of seeing people die at my hand before, but it was becoming my obsession.  Watching the life leave her eyes would be beautiful, as her body went still and muscles gave way, giving me complete control over her.

I had never loved anyone in my life, aside from my sister. Dusty was another story. But it was something more than that with Julip.  I wanted her, that was for sure.  I wanted more from her, more than she would give.  I wanted to keep running with her, keep hiding from our families, keep avoiding the public. I wanted her to be mine, in every single way.

This wouldn’t have a happy ending, but I was never one for happy endings to begin with.

Would anybody care if I woke up
Thought a new day might feel different
Everyone’s stripped down, coked up
Thought it might be real, but it isn’t

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Our days were filled with drugs, alcohol, and absolute madness.  I thought I was fucked up, but Julip was, too.  Every dealer we met usually didn’t live longer than our transaction.  Poor souls fell victim to Julip’s weapon of choice–a switchblade.  Together, we tore apart nameless people, ruining lives left and right.  Julip was all to happy to enable my sick fantasies, just not the ones including her.  Between the guts and gore, we took pills, drank to excess, and celebrated what we had done.  In those moments, all I wanted to do was grab her and force her to be mine.  I was in way too deep, and felt as if she was my property, my possession.  She belonged to me, and if she wasn’t mine, she wouldn’t be anyone else’s.

My mind it goes to the darkest places
I’ve got so much to love, sometimes I fucking hate it

It just got worse–or was it better?–as time went on.  Some days I could barely remember my name.  My manic episodes were a welcome experience.  More than once I woke up with my hands around Julip’s throat, forcing her to throw me off of her.  She always let me come back, though, and we’d sleep soon after.  Or did I really sleep?  It seemed like I was in a constant fog of death and desire, and everytime the smoke would clear, Julip would pull me right back in.  It was crazy, I barely knew her, or did I?  My concept of time was completely off, and even then, time was a touchy subject in Wonderland.

First I felt faded, then it got loud
Next I was wasted, then I blacked out

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In one of my am I actually asleep or am I just dreaming bouts, I overheard Julip talking to someone else, which sent a deadly wave of jealousy through me.  Who the fuck did she think she was, talking to another person, another man?  We had given everything up for each other.  If she had someone else here…where exactly were we again?

I’ve been doing bad things, bad things, yeah
I’ve been having bad dreams, bad dreams, yeah

“Sterling, you’re talking to yourself again,” Julip said, suddenly in my view.  I blinked a few times to make sure she was actually real.  “I have bad news.”

“What,” I snapped, “Who were you talking to?”

Julip rolled her eyes.  “My boss, Sterling.  Something’s happened and I need to go back.”

She’s leaving you.  Don’t let her.

Weaving all my sad tales, even if it hurts
See the beast well it always seems to show up

I managed to hold it together long enough to form a sentence.  “What happened?”

She turned away from me, and started stuffing our meager belongings in her bag.  “One of our intel hostages got out.  Since my boss is under the impression I’m still hunting you down, I have to go back and pretend like I’m actually doing my job.”  She turned back around, and caressed my cheek.  “I’ll come back to you, though.  After this, we’ll be safe.”

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I wanted to believe her, but I knew she was lying.  She had to be lying.  There had to be someone else.  Why else would she leave me? “No,” I spat.  “You’re not going anywhere.”

“I beg your pardon?”  Julip said, taking a step back from me.  “Fuck you, Sterling.  I’ll do what I want.”

Tell me that I’m hype, that I’ll blow up
Tell me I’m a fucked up person

“Right, that’s what you’ll be doing.  What you want.”  I sneered, grabbing her.  She let out a small squeak as if I’d hurt her, but people like Julip didn’t feel pain.  “You don’t want me anymore?”

“Sterling, what are you talking about, of course-“

“You’re lying!” I shouted, tightening my grip on her.  “You’re going to meet whoever he is, giving yourself to them.  You think I’ll just let that happen?”

If she isn’t yours, she isn’t anyone’s.

My mind it goes to the darkest places

“Sterling, you’re hurting me-“

She doesn’t love you.  She hates you.  She wants to hurt you.

I’ve got so much to love, sometimes I fucking hate it

“Sterling, let me go-“

Kill her before she kills you.

I can’t deal with the stress of the lifestyle

“Why won’t you let me have you?” I whispered, pinning her to me.  “That’s all I want, is to have you, feel you.  Don’t you want that, too?”

“Sterling, you’re drunk, or high, or something.  Let me go.”

Don’t let her go.

Or the way you’re looking in my face
And I wanna get away from it all

I continued to press myself against her, not letting her escape.  “We could be so good together, Mint.”  I nipped her ear lobe at the use of her first name.  “It’s just us, it’s always been us.”

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She suddenly wriggled from my grasp, and practically sprinted to the other end of the room.  “Sterling, you don’t understand.  We can’t.  The kiss was a mistake, this is all a mistake.  We’re fucking insane.  I mean, we’ve fucking killed people, Sterling, have literally ripped them apart.  We’ve been…you’ve been making me do sick, twisted things, and all you can think about is fucking me?”

She thinks it’s a mistake.  Make her regret it.

But I’m drawn right back, moth to the flame

Rage welled up in my chest as I slowly advanced toward her.  “You think this is a mistake?  That we’re a mistake?  You think we can just stop?  Why are you quitting when we’re so ahead?”

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“Sterling, I didn’t say we had to quit.  I’m just saying we can’t-“

“We can’t what, Mint?” I said, venom dripping on my words.  “Can’t kiss?  Can’t fuck? What’s stopping you?”

I want a new name & a little bit of something that I ain’t got
I want it two ways, like to kill all of my pain with the same shot

I had her cornered.  I was closing in on her lips with mine, and I could practically feel the adrenaline in the air.  Julip kept pressing herself against the wall behind her, as if that would let her escape me.

“Sterling, I’m your sister!”

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Her outburst stopped me dead in my tracks.  Sister?

“Don’t you understand, Sterling?” Julip gasped, crying.  “We can’t.  We fucking can’t, Sterling.  This is sick.  We’re fucking sick, Sterling.  It’s wrong.  It’s disgusting.”

“I don’t care.”

I’ll be alone forever in my head

The three words I uttered seemed to shake the room.  Julip let out a quiet sob as I grabbed her again.

“I don’t care, Julip.  I want you.  No one has to know,”  I pleaded, holding her sobbing form against me, “No one has to know.”

“Sterling, I don’t want this.  I don’t want you!”  She shrieked, struggling against me.  “Wanting you is wrong, I don’t want-“

There it is.  She doesn’t want you.

Dot my I’s til they fill me out

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I shoved her against the wall, her skull colliding with the rotten wood, causing her to sob louder.  I reveled in her tears, and crouched down next to her.  “If I can’t have you,”  I said slowly, making sure she understood the full implication of my words, “No one can.”

A single beat passed between us, staring into each other’s eyes.  I saw fear behind her gaze, her pupils rimmed with red from crying.  Her lip wobbled as she suppressed another sob, and I couldn’t help but think about how absolutely beautiful it was to watch her fall apart.

I’ll be alone forever in my bed

With a twisted smile and a filthy mouth

“Sterling,” she pleaded, “please, don’t.”

Almost as fast as blinking, she punched me in the face, and used the oppertunity to sprint to the door.  The pain barely phased me, and a laugh boiled throughout my body.  Julip took one last look at me before bolting outside and into the night, the door almost flying off the hinges.

Blood dribbled down from my nose and toward my chin, and the world spun around me. I stumbled out the door after her, each step making my heart pound.

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If I couldn’t have her, no one could.  If I wasn’t hers, I wasn’t anyone’s.

That final thought had me staggering down the road, adrenaline pumping in my veins.  When I found Julip, she wasn’t ever going to leave me again.

Even if that meant I had to kill her so she’d never have the chance to.

I’ve been doing bad things, bad things
I’ve been having bad dreams, bad dreams.

*~*~*

Lyrics to ‘Bad Things‘ by K.Flay.

So I’d like to address a few things.  If you read the interlude I posted awhile ago, you’ve actually already known that Julip was Sterling’s sister this entire time.  I seriously do not condone incest.  At all.  They’re both just extremely sick, but Julip was able to get a grip on reality long enough to realize what she was doing.  They kissed once, but they never did anything past that.

Sterling has always had mental health issues, but let’s just assume that he’s not taking his medication and if you mix that with drugs, alcohol, and extremely twisted past-times, well…

Plus, do you notice how dark looking the pictures are?  Is everything real…?

The italics in bold is Sterling thinking to himself.  The regular italics are the song lyrics that I thought went well with this chapter.

When I started writing Sterling’s generation an extremely long time ago, this was always going to be the outcome.  Please ask me any questions if you need further clarification on anything mentioned.

Thanks ❤

-Haley

Generation Five, Chapter Nine [Bud of Love]

Generation Five, Chapter Nine

{Bud of Love}

AN: Violence, incest, and underage themes mentioned/implied.

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Dusty became a permanent fixture in my life after that.

I came to visit her more often than not, bearing some sort of gift.  I found out that she loved roses, dark chocolate, and poetry.  Her smile radiated a kindness that I had only seen in Summer.  She was a beautiful angel, bringing light in the forgotten landscape of my soul.

My thoughts were usually clouded around her.  I didn’t want to hurt her, I didn’t want to make her belong to me.  I didn’t want to break her bones or tear apart her flesh.  I just wanted her.

The incident with Julip was all but forgotten.

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My attentions were not unnoticed by my best friend.

“This is the most effort I’ve seen you put in just to get laid…ever.”  Lucuma said, addressing me across table.  We were in some bar that I didn’t even know the name of, sipping drinks together as per usual whenever Lucuma had free time.  “You’re one of those one and done kinda guys.”

I shrugged.  “I like her.”

She cocked an eyebrow. “Sterling, you don’t like girls.  You use them.”

I scoffed, turning my head away from her.  “Lucuma, you wound me.”

She narrowed her eyes, but still maintained her smile.  “I’ve never seen you like this.  It’s scary. Where did my Sterl-y go?”

The use of the horrible nickname earned her a glare across the table.  “I like her.”  I reiterated, hoping that would be enough explanation. To be completely honest,  my feelings scared me, too.

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“Well,” Lucuma said, taking a sip of her drink, “I hope you don’t ruin her.  Regardless of what she does and may look like, she’s really innocent.”

I didn’t meet her eyes and my silence earned an exasperated sigh.

“Oh my wonderland, you’ve already slept with her.”

She was once again met with my silence.

Lucuma didn’t let it go, though.  “Sterling, I’m not even sure she’s legal.”

I shrugged.  “She said she was eighteen.  I’m eighteen.  It’s fine. She wouldn’t be allowed to work where she does without being a legal adult.”

Lucuma narrowed her eyes.  “You know that’s not how it works around there.”

I cocked an eyebrow and flashed a smile at her.  “Details.

Wonderland you’re a dick.”

 “Yes, well, Dusty didn’t seem to have any qualms about my dick, so I’m not really sure why you do.”

My comment earned a satisfying, ugh, I hate you, sound from Lucuma, and only cemented the smirk on my face.   Our conversation regulated after that, with Lucuma talking about how her sister was doing and how on her next day off she wanted me to go lingerie shopping with her because she trusted my opinion over her own.  I agreed, as always, and wondered idly what ridiculous outburst she had planned this time for when I refused to let her buy anything herself.

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Lucuma had excused herself to the restroom, leaving me alone at our isolated table.  I stared at my phone, and briefly considered texting Dusty, but wasn’t sure what to send.  I had settled on sending “how was your day” when the seat in front of me was taken again.

“Back so soon–”  I said, looking up from my bottle, but was stopped short.

Julip was in front of me.

The rational side of my brain was screaming at to get the hell away from this psycho bitch, but the other side, the side that I didn’t talk about, did something else.

“That seat is taken,”  I said, taking my bottle in my hand.  “And the owner isn’t fond of sharing me.”

Julip smirked.  “I never said I wanted you.”

“I think you made that fairly obvious when you tried to kill me, dear.  Do me a favor, if you’re planning on doing that again, at least finish the job.  Wallowing in pain isn’t exactly my idea of a good time.”

Julip’s smile fell.  “You weren’t supposed to survive.  My apologies for your suffering.”

“You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t think your apology is genuine,”  I said, knocking back the rest of my drink.  “After all, you did try to kill me.  I think I deserve an explanation.”

“Explanation?”

I nodded.  “Why did you try to kill me, darling?  If you’re going to try again, I’d like to know why.”

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Julip bit her lip, a seductive sight to say the least.  “It’s quite complicated.”

A sinister chuckle made it’s way out of my mouth.  “I’m a prince, my country is at war, and there is no doubt a bounty on my head.  Is it more complicated than that?”

“Yes,” she answered quickly, “Very.”

“Hm,” I murmured, “Curious.”

“No hard feelings. I was only doing what I was instructed to do,” She said, a dark smirk on her face.  “Business, y’know?  I hope you understand.”

“Right,” I said, “But who exactly wants me dead?”

“You mean you don’t know?”  She asked, “I thought that part might be obvious.  As you said, your country is at war.  You know why the Heart Suit and Clover Suit are trying to eradicate each other, no?”

I nodded.  “Luella Liddell was murdered by the Clover Suit.”

“By your father, Sterling.  Luella Liddell was killed by Viper Anders-Clover.”

I swallowed.  I had always suspected my parentage, and knew my mother’s relations with the Clover Suit, but didn’t ever have a solid name in my mind.  I should’ve been shocked, but instead, felt numb.  “So I take it you have something to do with Viper.”

It was her turn to nod.  “Yes.”

“Is that all?”

She narrowed her eyes.  “Is that all?”

“Are you going to kill me now, or later, Julip.  I don’t have all night,” I said pointedly, watching for Lucuma.  “I don’t imagine we have much time left together.”

Her eyes darted around the bar before landing on mine again.  “Come with me.”

“What?”  I muttered,  “Less of a mess in here?”

She stood up suddenly, and grabbed me by the shoulder.  “Come on.”

I didn’t argue. If I did have a choice, I suppose I would rather die in a more secluded place than such a public one, and of course, spare Lucuma the gory details.  As she steered me towards the exit, my mind swirled with endless possibilities, none of them nice.  What would her insides look like, if I tore her skin to pieces?  Perhaps I could do it at the same time as she gutted me, and our flesh would melt together, leaving this plane of existence as one.

And they say romance is dead.

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We left through the back door, emptying us in an a seemingly abandoned ally.  She shoved me against the wall,  making a laugh boil in my throat.

“You know, I’d pick a classier place to die.  Although, I think my family always knew I’d end up dead in some bar or drug den, so I suppose we can’t disappoint, now can we?”  I scoffed, ripping her hands off of me.  “Get on with it, Julip.  Let’s see what you have in store for me.”

 I braced myself for death.  Dusty would go on without me, perhaps find some other man that actually deserved her.  Summer would cry, but could recover given time.  Lucuma would miss me terribly, but she would still survive as she always had.  After all, the world would be better off without me.

So I was not expecting Julip to kiss me, her palms desperately grabbing the sides of my face as I instinctively wrapped my hands around her waist.  I responded in kind, her lips tasting like the sweetest sin I’d ever had the pleasure to indulge in.  She pressed her body against mine in a frenzy that had me digging my fingernails into her hips.  The tangible chemistry between us seemingly crackled to life, sending electricity though my veins that I could only give in to.

Her lips were religion.  I was a pilgrim.

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All at once she let go of me, pushing me away from her.  “This is wrong.”

Her eyes flitted away from mine when I reached for her.  “I know, but it doesn’t have to be.”

She flinched away from my touch.  “You don’t understand.  You don’t know what I know, Sterling.  I have a job to do.  I have a country to report to.  You’re supposed to be my target.”

She fought me as I pulled her close to me, but she relaxed once my arms were around her.  “So spare me the details.  I’ve wanted you since I met you, Julip.  Let’s run away.  It can be just us.  No politics, no war.  Just you and me.”  I ignored the voice in the back of my head chanting Dusty, Dusty, Dusty…because right now, Julip was what mattered.

“You’d do that?”  She whispered, finally surrendering her arms to me.  “You don’t even know me.”

She was right.  This was insane.  Everything that had transpired in the last twenty minutes was absolutely crazy–but then again, so was I.  Not everything had to make sense in Wonderland.

“I know.”

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Nothing else was needed to be said.  Julip laced her fingers with mine and pulled me forward, leading us into the night.  My mind was racing with thoughts of violence, how she might kill me, how gratifying it’d be to kill her.  But it was also colliding with desire, a want so bad I was willing to run away with it.

I knew I only imagined seeing Lucuma in the ally as we turned away from it.  After all, I wasn’t in the right mind, anyways.

*~*~*

I’m mean.  I know.

-Haley