little things (monthly simlits, august 2018)

little things

monthly simlits, august 2018


september 3rd, 20xx,

i’m writing this in hopes of gathering my thoughts.  everything is mixed up, fuzzy and far away.

i guess if i were to put it simply, i’m fucking my neighbor’s wife.

or i was, because i can’t really tell if i still am. much of last night is a blur to me, but i woke up to a broken mirror and an empty bed, a tell-tale sign that something went wrong.  the memory is slippery, but i feel like if i reach out for it, it will slide in between my fingers, revealing nothing.  one thing is certain, in the midst of it all. one thing still rings true, after all the pain i’ve been through the past year, there is one wound that will forever haunt me.


08-30-18_10-21-40 PM


we should’ve never met.  it was by complete accident, a fraction of a second making a lifetime of difference. she was one of those stay-at-home trophy wives, the ones wearing lululemon pants and oversized chanel glasses, going jogging before brunch with her equally privileged girlfriends.  her type was a dime a dozen in my new neighborhood. turns out the mother i barely knew all these years decided to leave me her house and fortune in a cookie-cutter suburb outside of the city.  i decorated my room and left the rest untouched–it was weird to think of her actually living here. so i wandered outside and ran into her, literally.

08-30-18_9-44-31 PM08-30-18_9-46-29 PM

can people look that beautiful while working out? she wasn’t even sweating, just glowing like a damn angel, her cheeks flushed from exertion. her beautiful blue eyes widened as we collided, tumbling face first right on top of me.  lord, she even smelled like an angel. nothing like the cheap perfume i had back home. (although, i suppose i could afford to smell like aphrodite now.) don’t even get me started on her body.  it was pure sin. i could feel her toned muscles through her workout clothes, her skin soft and supple. and dear god, is she running in gucci shoes-

“i’m so sorry,” she blurted out, scrambling to get off of me.  “i didn’t see you, i guess i was just daydreaming or something.  are you alright?”

it took me a solid few seconds to realize i was gawking at her, mouth open like a fish. “yeah,” i answered suddenly, dusting off my jeans. “no big deal. sorry i was in your way.”

she beamed.  “are you new to the neighborhood?”

i kicked a stray rock on the path, not meeting her eyes.  “yeah, i guess.”

“well, i’m naomi,” she stuck her hand out, and i moved to shake it.  “it’s nice to meet you. i’m sorry it was under these circumstances.  i live down the road.  you should come by sometime!”

08-30-18_9-43-03 PM

this woman was magnetic.  “um,” i breathed, but then she was waving at me and taking off down the sidewalk, presumably to finish her jog.

i had been feeling empty for some time. floating from place to place, hoping to fill the void with anything as i sank into an endless ocean.

but meeting her felt like an anchor.


08-30-18_9-54-02 PM

she’s leading some neighborhood barbecue the next time i see her.

turns out her husband is loaded, and involved with the chamber of commerce, and they make gigantic donations to the city every year. they put on a really good show, a dutiful husband and wife who are equally invested in their community are presented to us, but i can tell.  the way she moves around him instead of towards him, her winning smile pressed into a thin line whenever they talk alone. maybe it’s creepy to observe her in such a way, but anyone can tell that they weren’t happy.

and i wasn’t happy, either.  nothing kept my attention.  i didn’t have to work, my mother took care of that. if i was really strapped for cash, i could just sell the house, but i was smart with my money.

08-30-18_9-56-14 PM

“tori,” i hear my name being called, and i turn to naomi making a beeline for me. she automatically pulls me into a hug, and i think i have a heart attack right then and there. she seats us across from each other at the nearest picnic table. “i didn’t think i’d see you here, doesn’t really seem like your scene.”

i give her a half smile because it’s definitely not my scene, but i was hoping to see her.  “yeah, i just um…had nothing better to do, so.”

naomi dramatically fake gasps.  “but darling, aren’t there people crawling all over you? you’re gorgeous, just look at you.”

08-30-18_9-54-36 PM

i flush under her praise. “thanks.”

she smiles. “don’t take this the wrong way, dear, but i think you need to get laid.”

yeah, and i hope it’s with you, i think miserably. “it has been awhile.”

naomi just giggles.


08-30-18_10-00-49 PM

i had to see her.

she’s shocked, it’s written all over her face, and then her beautiful features go from confusion to anger, it’s so barely concealed i feel like i might singe myself if i even dare to look her way, and setting her kid’s paintings on the wall on fire.

i rake my eyes over her features.  she’s clearly just rolled out of bed, her hair mussed looking like it needs pulled– wearing knee-highs because of course she wears sin on sin to bed. she looks good enough to eat, and yet here i starve.

“what are you doing here,” she whispers dangerously, “do you know what time it is?”

“yeah,” i rasp, “but i had to see you.”

her features soften. i take that as my cue.

“i’ve been thinking about you non-stop, naomi. i can’t even breathe. it’s like you’ve rooted your way into my lungs and i barely know you.” because she has, and she’s suffocating me.

“i,” she starts, stops, then composes herself. “i’m too old for you.”

i roll my eyes. “you’re making excuses.”

“i’m married.”

“maybe. but it’s over, isn’t it?”

08-30-18_10-02-45 PM

we don’t speak after that. she pulls me into a hug and then follows me home,and we end up in bed, and it’s just as sweet and earth-shattering as i had imagined it would be.  just because she’s twenty years older than me doesn’t mean she isn’t still beautiful, and that’s proven to me as i slide my fingers over her hips, across her toned abdomen, down her perfect thighs.

08-30-18_10-06-51 PM

it feels like heaven. it feels like home. it makes me feel like i have a purpose, and it’s to worship her.


08-30-18_10-09-40 PM

our affair comes to an end a few months later.

we knew we were living on borrowed time.  she didn’t have the guts to leave her husband, and i didn’t have the guts to do anything about it.

and then my house was ransacked and she disappeared out of my life forever.

misery is my new company. i can’t even bring myself to eat, let alone function normally. i think my one fatal flaw, or my only trait, is that i loved too much and lost myself along the way. my clean slate has been painted by naomi. it just took too long to realize that love would, in the end, destroy me.

months go by. i get thinner. i stop going outside. life passes without me. i think it’s been a year since i’ve seen her.

08-30-18_10-12-19 PM

until i hear a knock at my door. i answer, and there she is in all her glory, looking downtrodden but still beautiful.

“i left him,” is all she says, staring at me.

“oh,” i whisper.

“you’re so thin,” she mumbles. “may i come in?”


08-30-18_10-15-23 PM

and just like that, loves blooms back in my chest, and i find that my fatal flaw might just actually be the answer.


08-30-18_10-19-16 PM

September 3rd, 20xx,

if there’s one thing i know, love becomes us.


So yeaaaaahhhh i decided to not do the super sad route like i usually do? even though there’s still angst? idk lol.

if you need clarification, tori is 20 and naomi is 40. and yes i know their relationship is toxic, but this was mostly a character study between these two and i’m pretty pleased with the results. basically tori loves too much, gets a bit obsessive, but has no interest in anything else because of her obsession, so that’s her defining trait.  she’s a young adult. i’m 20. i’m also extremely obsessive over my manz. okay? okay.

anyways, i’m rambling, thank you for reading ❤








search the darkness (monthly simlits, june 2018)

Search The Darkness


Monthly Simlits, June 2018



She comes to know hunger and greets it like an old friend.

She feels it when she looks at him, feels it when lightning strikes in a brewing storm.  She feels it for days and is scared, she’s so damn scared, she just wants it all over with.  She craves a way out, because she knows something is off, something is coming, but she can’t place it, can’t see a solution.

So she waits, waits for the end, waits to eat.

She comes to know starvation, starvation bleeds into fear, so fast and so cold it hurts and she finds herself growing numb to the sensation.  She closes her eyes, reaches for her friend, satisfied when she feels its’ comfort, like a lover’s embrace.

There is no day here, only long nights, dark and deep, glittered with stars.  She thinks that each star represents a soul, perhaps gone from this earth, but watching over her.  She thinks that it’s all cliche and a bit too flowery, but roses will grow where she has planted them.

She wakes.


There’s water running somewhere near her, as she stirs in a meadow under the cover of moonlight.  This time, there are no stars, just the moon, clouds, and the gentle breeze.  Roses grow next to her, a man embraces her, and keeps her eyes closed.  She dares to think that this is peace, that eternal night is not forever, but if it is, she begs the universe to let her stay like this.  Her breathing evens out, matching her lover’s, holding each other tightly, an anchor during a storm. The clouds clear, water fades, and the world exhales a sigh of relief.


Except now she’s sinking, down, down, down-down-downdowndOWNDOWNDOWN and the world is swirling, leaving her grasping at the air, darkness consuming her and isn’t that just the scariest damn thing, to be thrown away down a black hole, drowning, and-

She comes to know fear and greets it like an old friend.

She falls.


She is light as a feather as she drifts down, landing on a soft bed.  She’s a little tired of this, to be honest.  Too much shifting, too little time in between.  She thinks she’d be happy for the rest of her life if everything could just stay still.

“Welcome back,” her old friend says, manifested into a beautiful entity.  “How was it, this time?”

“How was what?” She breathes, but it’s really a low growl, her voice betraying her fear.

The entity smiles and reaches out for her.  “You know what, dear.  Your life.  This is your fifth, is it not?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she brushes the entity’s comment off, even though she knows that she’s a valuable friend.  “I’ve never lived more than one life.”


“Oh, sweet cherub.  Did you die alone again? You always seem to find the same fate, no matter what life I have given you, tsk, tsk…”  The entity turns from her, and somehow that’s more terrifying than actually facing her.

She closes her eyes, wills her mind to try and grasp what’s going on, what’s real and what’s fake standing in front of her, and she tugs at the corner of her consciousness, finally freeing the memories that she had worked her entire life to hide.


Ah,” the entity says, turning to face her again.  “Every creature on earth dies alone.”

“Are you God?” She blurts out, trying to focus.  “Am I really dead?”

The entity laughs, observing her from across the room.  “Every creature on earth dies alone,” It repeats, “Never forget.”  She bows her head to God, and lets go.

She ascends.


She wakes to the sound of birds chirping.  The sky is bright outside, and it’s the first time she’s seen daylight in who knows how long.  She’s about to try to make it out of bed when she sees her old friend, waiting by her bed.


“Hello,” It says, gentle and kind.  “I’m here to guide you to the afterlife.”

“But every creature dies alone,” she hisses, “So I can’t be dead, or you wouldn’t be here.”

“I sense unwavering fear in you,” the entity states, ignoring her statement.  “Do not be afraid.”

“It’s hard not to be,” she admits.  “How do I know what’s real, and what’s fantasy?”  She begrudgingly gets up, because there’s no way out of this.  It doesn’t matter what she says now, when she’s staring death in the face.  “Let’s go, I suppose.”

The entity nods and reaches out to take her hand, and she lets her, and notices the tears streaming from her eyes.

“Why are you crying?” She asks before thinking, and the entity stops dead in it’s tracks.


“I cry for all lost souls,” It says, stoically.  “For every living creature on earth dies alone.”

She dies.


Her friends guide her towards tomorrow.  There’s no bright light, like they say, when you die you should go towards the light.  No such light shows itself to her, but her hunger dissipates.  Her fear runs and hides, her soul touched by an angel.

Dying alone isn’t that bad, she thinks, when you’ve been saved by an angel.

The roses die.  They return the following spring.

So shall she.


How did you die?”  He asks, as she transitions from this life to the next.

“I don’t know.” She admits, “But it was a very lonely death.”

“Ah,” He breathes.  “I’m sorry.”

She turns away.  “Every living creature on earth dies alone.”

He scoffs.  “Who told you that?”


She doesn’t move.  “God.”  Is all she says, finally willing herself to move.  “God,” she whispers again, more for herself this time, “God told me.”

She is reborn.


Years later, when reality lays itself across her lap, she greets those fantasies like an old friend.

Somewhere, a small child with crystal eyes and striking white hair learns to smile.

Wings seem to lift her when she falls.

And the earth begins to turn again.


Yeah idk, I wanted to write about reincarnation so I did.  This month’s theme is Is This A Fantasy Or Reality?  I didn’t want this to be like anything I usually write, because we don’t meet Angel until she dies, but I didn’t want to write her next life, either.  I feel like seeing her go through limbo and greet life and death is enough to warrant the whole “is this real???” thing, haha.  Also I wanted to play around with some of my new sims 4 cc, so here we are.  I can’t take credit for the whole “every creature on earth dies alone” line because Donnie Darko did it first.  (Which is my favorite movie, haaa.)

So is this real or fantasy? I don’t know.  I think it could be either.

Thank you for reading ❤  Monthly Simlits is over here at the forums. I highly recommend checking it out if you have time 🙂  You can also download all four of these sims from the gallery.  It’s under the hashtag #otherworldlybeings.








six damn years?

bandicam 2018-05-28 01-11-11-943


Hey guys, my former fourteen year-old self would like to thank you for your continued support.  It’s very strange to look at what I’ve created as I grow older and it’s still really weird that I’ve graduated high school…I’m an adult now…I live on my own, etc.  I feel like in my life where many things have been thrown my way and continued to be ever-changing, this blog was always a constant.  I’ve never been good at updating and my writing needs work, but I always have this story somewhere in my head.


Anyways, Happy Anniversary!  Hopefully I get to finish this story one day.


Haley ❤

Generation Six, Chapter Seven, [The Beginning of the End]

Generation Six, Chapter Seven

{The Beginning of the End}

AN:  Just dawned on me that I left you guys hanging, lol.  Here’s a chapter that was hard for me to write.  (They’re all getting hard to write, haha.)  Take some plot with some romance 😉 Also there’s a *hint* of sexual themes ahead.  FYI.


When I awoke, I was resting on a bed of flowers; soft petals greeting my fingertips as I stretched my sore muscles.  I had a pounding headache, but my body felt fine, cleaner, if that made sense.  I’m okay, I’m okay.

Sitting up, I took in my surroundings.  I was still in the forest, surrounded by the foliage.  A river roared in the distance, and I could hear the slight breeze running through the trees.  It was quiet, serene.  I went to push myself off the ground, but my body felt like lead.  What had happened?

Oh. Yeah.

My hand flew to my forehead, expecting there to be a gaping wound, but smooth flesh was soft against my skin, replacing what should have been a fatal wound.  How many people have had their brains smashed into a rock and live?  And Boris

I brushed my fingertips across my lips.  Boris had kissed me.



I turned at the sound of Boris’ voice, who was near me in an instant.  “You’re awake!”

And then I was pulled into a bone-crushing hug, and my heart fluttered against my ribcage, welcoming the feeling of his arms around me.  “Yeah, I’m awake.”

“How are you feeling?”  He asked, pulling away from me, “You took…quite a spill.”

I shoved him away from me.  “I did not take a spill.  I was pushed into a rock. I shouldn’t even be alive. What happened?!”  I screamed as the memory came back to me, hitting me with a force that nearly laid me out.  “No more secrets, Boris!  Tell me what happened!”

Boris’ arms fell to his sides as he took me in, his glowing eyes closing as his expression turned grim.


“I’ll admit…I haven’t been entirely truthful with you,”  He started, taking my hand, “But everything I have done, I have done for you.”

I stared at him, his sincerity almost palpable in the air.  “So tell me the truth.  Tell me why I’m really here.”

“I’m not human, Rose,”  He said, standing up and turning from me.  “Not anymore.  I have more power than any man could dream of wielding, I can bring civilization to it’s knees.”  He turned back towards me, his eyes glowing with an ethereal force.  “I can see the future.  I can see the past, I can see it all, Rose, because I am stuck in it.”

And then he was beside me, his hands caressing my cheeks, gentle, but cold as ice.  “I’m older than Wonderland, Rose.  I have been gifted these attributes, but it came at a price.  But everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you.”


“I don’t understand,”  I said, tears slipping past my eyes, “I don’t understand your devotion,  I don’t understand our bargain, I don’t understand anything, Boris.  What’s happening?!”

Boris placed a gentle kiss upon my lips, parting slowly.  The notion made my nerves tingle, but I was still adamant about knowing the truth.

“Before I was Boris Airay, and you were Cicely Liddell, I was Ichabod Crane, and you were Katrina Van Tassel, and I was a coward.”



 “I was a humble school teacher with nothing of my own.  The horse I even rode was borrowed.  But you…you were an heiress, and a beautiful one at that.  You would inherit everything; your family’s land, fortune, and luxury.  But I wanted to use that and travel, see the world with my own eyes.  We could take over the world together.”

“So I had to have you.  But I was not alone in my pursuit.  You had a flock of suitors begging for your attention, but when your eyes met mine for the first time, I knew.  I knew you were soul carved for mine.”


“But there was one man in particular that was more aggressive in his manners.   He wanted you just as badly as I did, but because you were a prize, not out of love.  And he was no ordinary man, he was…something else entirely.  Someone capable of vile things.”

“I began to court you, so you declined his advances, and over time, he stopped calling entirely.  However, he wanted me dead.  But I was too good at hiding, very excellent at running away.  We never saw each other again, until your father held a dinner that we both were present at.  I was planning to propose to you that night, as I was sure you would accept.  I had your father’s permission, I had enough money to marry, and a ring.  I was going to lead to our lives happily ever after.”


“I had your attentions all evening, until Bones walked in.  He had a mean spirit about him, and made everyone uncomfortable.  And then he made a big show of proposing to you, right before your father and the entire dinner party.  He gave a loud speech about your virtues and beauty, and then asked you to marry him.   Your father was outraged.  I was terrified.  You were silent.”

“And then you smiled, and apologized for not returning his affection, and that he’d have to have another, because your heart already belonged to one man.  You were so beautiful in that moment, with such pretty words.  I fell in love with you again.”

“And then the unthinkable happened…Bones charged at you.”



“I didn’t have time to think, I didn’t have time to act, he grabbed you with one hand and me with the other and forced us down the hall, and pushed us through the window at the end.  I didn’t have enough sense to reach out for you.  We laid on the ground together, broken, and you made me promise to never love another ever again.  You made me promise that I would always remember you.  To find you in this life and the next.  And then you died in my arms.”

“My body was broken, but I was still able to get up and face Bones as he towered over us.   If he couldn’t have you, no one could.  He was no ordinary man, either.  He had glowing eyes, pale skin, and extraordinary strength.  No human could grab both of us in either arms and push us through glass.  If I had that strength, I would have been able to save you.”


“This is the end of you, Crane”, he had said.  “Any last words?”

“I took another look at your body and then back at him, and then I ran.  I ran as fast as my legs would carry me.  Bones followed after me, on my heels the whole time.  Until I came to the bridge that crossed the river in town, and he stopped at the water’s edge.  I never understood, and probably never will, why he stopped.  But it didn’t matter, what mattered was that I escaped with my life.”

“I ran until I couldn’t, exhausted beyond all belief.  I fell on a path, unable to move, until someone took hold of my face.”


“You will not bend, nor will you break.  You are meant for more than this.”

“When I next awoke, I was prone to a terrible thirst.  But it didn’t feel normal, and where my bones should’ve been broken, I felt firm.  My skin was cold and solid, and I felt more alive than ever.  That’s when she appeared, whose name I never knew.  But she told me about you, and what I am, and that I would play my part in years to come.  But I would have to wait for your rebirth, and in order to do that, I had to become immortal.”

“I have been in love with you for centuries, Rose.  There has never been anyone else.”


 “But it appears the same could be said for Bones.  He was the one who attacked you, and I fear he is trying to exact revenge.  I’ve been trying to track him down, but I’m afraid to leave your side.  I had to heal you, first and foremost.  But now, I don’t want to leave you.”

I swallowed.  Blinked, once, twice.  Pressed my palm to my heart to make sure it was still beating.  It was hammering in my chest, threatening to break my ribs.  It was a lot to grasp, but it made sense.  We were two halves of a whole, and I had kept him waiting long enough.

I took Boris’ hand in mine, and pressed it against my heart.  “If what you say is true,”  I whispered, “Then never leave my side again.”


He grasped the sides of my face with his hands, a smile on his face.  “I would never dream of it.”

Our lips met, and it felt like the universe had cut us out into stars, and spread us on a horizon.  Like every part of me had been born for him, and he for me.

Maybe because we were made for each other.

We pulled apart, foreheads still resting on each other.   “Will we ever be safe?”

“Yes, little Rose.  I’m not running away this time.  I will stand up to him.  I’ve had a millennia to gather my strength,”  Boris pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me.  “It will not take me a millennia to destroy him.”


Boris held me close for the rest of the night, resting in the bed of flowers.  We gave ourselves to each other, fully, endlessly, perfectly.  I fell to pieces and he pulled me back together over and over, whispering to each other, even if only the moon was our witness.  He told me about our lives together back then, what he felt when we met again.  I felt our very souls entwining, wrapping around each other, never letting go.

He had loved me for ages, but me?  It was love at first sight.


yeah, they totally slept together.

remember when i made this entire story and decided to base it off of the great stories of our time and then barely did it for the first three generations and it’s only just now really kind of making sense in a storyline or an heir??? because i started this when i was like 13??? lol.

anyways, this dreamy bliss is just about over.  we’re getting to the main story of the generation!  and you guys know me! there’s absolutely nothing coming their way that could never tear them apart!

so many pretty pictures were taken this chapter wow





and talk about stage lighting lol

thank you ❤



Seasons of You and I (Monthly Simlits, February 2018)

Seasons of You and I

Monthly Simlits, February 2018

AN:  So this is a completely alternate universe to Lost In Wonderland, with a plot I made up for this month’s prompt.   Featured in this piece are Boris Airay and Cicely Rose Liddell, the current front-runners in my rainbowcy.  This is based on the “the world doesn’t see colors until you meet your soulmate” prompt that you’ve seen everywhere, and it won’t be explained why they look like berry sims anywhere in the story, so here’s your warning now: Boris is purple!  Cicely has green hair!  Cool!  Anyways, slight warning for kinda mature themes halfway through; consenting adults take their clothes off, you don’t see any anatomy, etc.  Neat.  Anyways, here we go.

EDIT: Also I listened to this playlist while writing this!  You can check it out if you think it’ll add on to the story.



Falling in love with you was slow.

It felt like coals, deep in my chest.  An unlit match but ready to burn.  Gasoline strewn about my rib cage, waiting for my heart to explode.  But you weren’t looking for love, and neither was I.  Because we couldn’t.  We wouldn’t allow ourselves.

No one knew what was wrong until suddenly, we did.


Snow lined the ground when the discovery was actually announced.  “Colors exist,” they had said, “we’ve all been seeing black and white for centuries.”  Then they brought out a palette that no one could decipher.     Strange words like “blue” and “red” were listed above shaded boxes, and personally, I wasn’t interested.  Because the condition to see these “colors” was ridiculous.

“When you see your soulmate, that’s when it happens.  You come in to focus with the rest of the world.”

A bunch of scientists had come together to tell us love was the answer.  That was the answer to one of the biggest mysteries mankind had ever seen.  But why this discovery now, all of sudden?  If seeing your soulmate made you see these colors, shouldn’t a lot of people have already experienced this?

It was a question that went unanswered.


The snow had melted when I met you.

Spring flowers adorned every desk in the library.  It was empty, as per usual during a weekday night.  I was finishing the last lines of Frankenstein when you came up to my desk.

“Excuse me,” You said, voice barely above a whisper.  “Could you help me find a book?”

I looked up, then back down, and back at you twice.  I blinked a few times for good measure. Because there was no way I was seeing what I was seeing.  Color.


“Um,” I fumbled, dropping my book.  She looked me up and down, an eyebrow raised.  “Yes, I’m sorry, what were you looking for?”

You showed no sign of seeing what I was seeing.  You brushed off my behavior as if nothing had happened, as if my universe hadn’t just exploded.  “I’m looking for Frankenstein, the computer says you have a copy.  It’s not on the shelf.”

“Oh,” I breathed.  You were remarkably beautiful, and apparently well-read.  I wouldn’t know what colors I was seeing on you until later, but your face was radiant, and you were soft, like an angel.  “I’m sorry,  I’ve been reading it.  I never officially checked it out.”


“Oh, I’m sorry.  I didn’t realize.  I can just go if you don’t have a copy available.”  You said, offering me a small smile.  “It’s alright.”

“Wait, no,”  I said abruptly, a lump in my throat.  “I, um- I’m nearly finished.  I’m on the last page, if you’d give me a moment-”  I felt flustered, grabbing the book and snapping it closed.  “Here,” I said while handing it to you.  “All yours.”

“Are you sure?”  You asked, taking the book.  “I don’t mean to rush you.”

“It’s fine,” I said hurriedly.  “Just be sure to bring it back.”

You nodded.  “I’ll be back.  I promise.”


Summer sunshine was filtering through the windows the next time I saw you.  You had returned Frankenstein weeks before when I wasn’t there, so we hadn’t run in to each other.  I couldn’t forget about you though, due to the colors I kept seeing.  It was like a new world had been opened up to me.  Chairs in the reading rooms were made of tan wicker and fabric.  The bookshelves were brown and lined with various books, ranging from blues, greens, and every possible color on the new “color wheel” that had gone public.  I studied it, hoping to get a grasp on everything before the next time I saw you.  I still wasn’t sure if you saw what I could, or what that meant.  Because what if you didn’t, what if this was one-sided?  Science hadn’t gone that far yet.  There had been no one-sided cases.  What if I was alone in this?

You caught my eye during the last hour of my shift, curled up in the corner reading a textbook.  I swallowed.  Every part of me wanted to go over and talk to you, but I didn’t even know your name.  Don’t be a coward.

I glanced around the foyer, even though I knew no one would be here.  I took a few deep breaths to compose myself, and then mustered up the courage to just say hello.


“Hi,” I nearly squeaked.  “Long-time, no see.”

“Hi,” You smiled.  “It’s been awhile.”

There was a small pause as your eyes flitted back down to your book.  Case Studies On Women in Business seemed like an interesting enough read, but it wasn’t anything like Frankenstein.  “Are you doing some extracurricular studying?”

“Oh,” You said, putting the book down in your lap.  “Yeah.  The winter semester is over, but I’m taking a few summer classes.  I’ve been spending a lot of time in here the last few months, just studying.  It’s very quiet.”

“Wait, you have?”  I asked, eyes wide.  I hadn’t even noticed you.  How could I not have noticed?

You offered me another smile.  “You haven’t really been here when I had.  You usually close down shop here, I liked to come in the mornings and study.”

“Oh,” I echoed, slightly relieved.  Or disappointed? I wasn’t sure.  “So you’re a student at U of M?”

“Yeah, I’m a junior.  I’m a little behind though, so I’m getting some of my gen eds out of the way this summer.”  She tapped her book.  “Thus, Case Studies on Women in Business.”

“Ah yes, getting that diversity credit.  I remember all too well,”  I sighed.

“Yeah,” You said, beginning to pack your things in a bookbag.  “I should get going, though.”  You stood up, and held out your hand.


“Oh, um, what is it?”  I asked, confused.

“Let me see your phone.  I’m going to put my number in it.”

My stomach dropped and my face flushed.  “O-oh.”

“Unless you don’t want me to?”

“No, ah,” I fumbled for my phone, and then placed it in your hands.  “All yours.”

All yours.

You added yourself into my contacts and sent yourself a text to your own phone.  You whipped out your own to add me in.  “Cool,” You said, smiling up at me.  Goodness, you’re pretty.  I could only smile like an idiot, my phone in my hands.  “That’s a nice shade of green,” You commented, eyeing my phone case.

“What,” I stumbled, “did you just say?”

But you were already walking away, and long gone before I thought of a proper response.

You saw it, too.  You saw colors too.

I looked down at my phone.  Cicely Rose.  What a pretty name for a pretty girl.


We spent the summer dancing around each other, never speaking about our colors, but the match had been lit.  It wasn’t slow, like I thought.  It was like grabbing a pan on the stove and realizing how searing hot it was.  It was painful.  It was beautiful.  It was scary.  It was nothing I’d ever felt before.

I was in love with you.


Leaves were falling when you told me.  We were huddled together, reading books in the corner of our deserted library.  Breathing the same air as you stoked the coals in my lungs.  Listening to your voice set my skin ablaze.

“I’m sick,” You said, turning the page of Jane Eyre.  “I thought I should tell you.”

“Don’t breathe on me,”  I tried to joke, but you didn’t laugh.

“It’s not like that.”

“Oh,”  I whispered.  “What is it?”

“Cancer,” You said blatantly.  Brave New World fell from my hands.  “Yeah,” You said, “That was my reaction, too.”

I didn’t know what to do.  I reached a hand over to her, which she held.  “I’m sorry,” I managed.

“Yeah,” You squeezed my hand.  “Me, too.”


We sat in silence for a long time.  I was feeling plenty of emotions, but they were probably nothing compared to the storm you must have had going on inside.  “How long?”  I finally asked with a shaky breath.  “Or, er, did they-“

“Six months.” You replied.  “Maybe more.  They don’t know.  It’s pretty advanced.  No treatment options, either.”

“Oh,” I sighed.  “Cicely, I’m so-“

Before I could finish, you turned and brought your lips to mine.  I nearly melted, your lips so soft and pliant.  I knotted my hands in your hair, bringing you closer, while you pushed me back onto the couch.  “Wait-” I tried to breathe as you pulled my sweater off, “People could come in, I don’t know if we should-“

“I see them, too.”

I stopped.  “See what?”

You smiled, unbuttoning my jeans.  “Your eyes look a sunset over the water.  They’re pretty pink pearls.”

I gasped.  You smirked. I flushed.

“When you’re embarrassed, your cheeks turn almost the same color.  It’s beautiful.”

I slid my hands under your sweater.  “You have lovely, sun-kissed skin.  And your hair looks like emerald waves.” Finally, I took took it off. “I’ve always wanted to run my hands through it.”

“So do it.”



I spent all winter with you.  We built snowmen.  We drank cocoa together.  We made love by the fireplace in my small home.  You introduced me to your parents, who were apprehensive at first, but appreciated me all the same.  I made sure that you were loved in every way possible, in every way I knew how.

Your condition got worse faster than we thought it would.  Soon, you could barely find the energy to get out of bed to make snow angels.  You didn’t want to go see lights at the zoo because you knew you wouldn’t be able to handle much walking.  I stayed by your side, climbed into bed with you, and we spent the rest of the season cuddled together watching movies, anything to spend time together.


Spring came, you were confined to your bed.  It was a rainy afternoon when I came to visit, bringing your favorite tea from the coffee shop by the library.  You smiled at me like you always did, taking the cup from me with shaky hands.

“I’m going to destroy you,” You said suddenly, taking a sip. “I’m going to die, and it’s going to destroy you.”

I took the cup from her hands and set it on the end stand, then wrapped my hands around yours. “I would love nothing more than to be eradicated by you.”

It was the first time I’d seen you cry.   It made your wheat-colored eyes look solid gold.


“I love you,” You said on the last day of your life.  Summer was clawing at spring, rainy days turning humid, the seasons giving way to change.  “I don’t think I’ve ever told you that I love you.”

“Sure you have,” I said, kissing your fingertips.  “You tell me you love me with every smile you give me.  You tell me you love me with your touch and your kisses.  Cicely, you tell me you love me everyday just by breathing.  And I love you too, always, and forever.”

“I think this is the part where I murder Elizabeth and you chase me down.”

“No,” I said entwining our hands.  You felt so frail underneath my fingers.  “You are my Elizabeth.  The source of my joy.  And it is I who will never stop chasing you.”


Your funeral was a black affair.  Everyone, whether they knew it or not, had dressed in black.  I stayed until the last person had left, the lawn too bright and green, contrasting with the news of the day.  The brown dirt beneath your fresh grave was too vibrant, the wreath of pink flowers eluding to happiness where there was none.

“I love you,” I breathed, kneeling before your headstone.  “I love you, Cicely Rose.”

I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, the colors began to fade, and I welcomed it.

Color wasn’t worth it without you.

The world fell out of focus.


So I totally used both limits of 2000 words AND 15 screenshots!  Cool!

Also, I made some of the pictures a little more vibrant, just because I feel like it added to scene, etc.  I dunno, it’s pretty.

The “U of M” Boris references is supposed to be the University of Moonlight Falls, where this story takes place, but if you wanna pretend it’s the University of Michigan like I did, I won’t stop you. 😉

I hope you enjoyed ❤





Generation Six, Chapter Six, [I Fall To Pieces When I’m With You]

Generation Six, Chapter Six

{I Fall To Pieces When I’m With You}

AN: I don’t really want to put the lyrics in this chapter because I feel like it will take away from the actual content, but I was listening to this  while writing this.  I think you’ll like it.  Okay, onwards!


The Wanderer’s Forest was amazing.

The colors, the sights, the smells–I didn’t have words for what I was seeing.  And you could feel the magic all around you, in the air, on the ground, in my bones.  It was comfortable, too, in a weird way.   Like we belonged in this forest, right there, right now.


It was a concept I was trying to grasp.  I had no idea what I was feeling about Boris.  Or, well, I had some idea, obviously.  I’ve read enough books to understand what romance was, but we didn’t exactly have a conventional love story, and it wasn’t very proper of me to go running around in the woods with an older man, if he was a man.  That was a touchy subject.   I wanted to know everything about him, but he was focused on me.   My safety, my health, my comfort.  He had tried to carry me when he realized I was tired during the final leg of our journey, but I vehemently rejected the idea.  The thought of his skin meeting mine sent electricity through my veins, shocking me to my core.  I couldn’t even fathom touching him in this state.

And yet…


“Rose,”  Boris called, snapping me out of my state.  “I need to…erm,”  He stumbled with his words, biting his lip.  “You know…”

I nodded.  “It’s okay.  But I have one request.”

His eyes (eye?) locked with mine, so intense that it made my heart jump against my ribcage.  “Name it, Rose.”

I fiddled with my thumbs, unsure how to properly convey what I wanted.  “I…want…”


I bit my lip.  “I want to come with you.”

Boris’ expression changed immediately, furrowing his brow and frowning.  “Absolutely not.  It’s too dangerous.”


“What exactly is too dangerous?”  I asked, frowning.  “You never tell me what’s going on, and leave me alone.  Isn’t that dangerous?”

Boris bit his lip, worry across his eyes.  “Rose, please…”

He was pleading with me.  This man was pleading with me, begging for me to merely send him away.  It made me sick.  It made me guilty.  But it made me feel powerful in what I thought was a powerless life.

“No, I want to come with you.”

With a frown, Boris turned from me.  “Hop on, then.”




Boris let me sit in small alcove in a clearing, a large stone in front of me, acting as a table.  “Stay here,” he commanded, (albeit lightly,) “and try not to get scared.”

My stomach tied itself in knots as I nodded.  He took that as his cue to dart off into the night.  The woods went silent, and it was almost a serene feeling.  Almost.

Suddenly, a doe came crashing through the brush, sending my heart into a frenzy.  It stopped directly in the middle of the clearing, and we locked eyes for a moment.  The creature was beautiful, and clearly terrified.

We were one in the same.

And then, almost out of nothing, Boris tackled it to the ground.   And almost as fast as it had come into my life, it left.  It stood no match against his strong arms as he snapped its’ neck, then proceeding to dive into it’s throat, and fangs greeted its flesh.

 Vampire, my mind screamed.  Boris is a vampire.

It made sense.  He had unnatural abilities, and hadn’t aged a day since I first saw him.  I knew it in my heart, that it was true.

I was falling in love with a vampire.



Every part of me wanted to run away from the scene, but it was my heart that kept me grounded, my fingers digging into the stone beneath them.  I had to watch.  If I wanted to understand him, I had to watch.

So I watched, with tears in my eyes, as Boris drank the blood of the innocent doe.  I could almost imagine myself as the poor soul, the one beneath the immortal man’s fangs.  Submitting to him in every way, giving my life for his.

The thought made me dizzy, but I welcomed the adrenaline in my veins.  I had to watch.

Finally, Boris looked up from his meal.  His glowing eye met mine for a moment, before raising above me.  Maybe he couldn’t look at me, maybe it wouldn’t be the same now, maybe now he would send me away, maybe-

It was too late when I realized he wasn’t avoiding looking at me.  He was looking behind me.


The last thing I saw was Boris running at me with inhuman speed, right before my skull was smashed into the stone.  Something had grasped me by the neck before shoving me into the rock, yet I felt nothing.  I felt nothing as I fell to the side, blood pooling at the base of my head.  I felt nothing as I closed my eyes, counting how many stars I saw behind my eyelids.


I felt nothing as I was submerged into a familiar inky-black space, the space I hadn’t seen since I tried to kill myself.  It wasn’t cold this time, though, only welcoming, and I welcomed it back.




I turned to see my Daddy, clad in black as always.  His eyes were the only things I could make out around the black, a haunting blue that could stop wars.  They did, I had to remind myself.  Daddy was a hero.

“Daddy!” I smiled, rushing towards him.  But he didn’t smile back, and he didn’t hold his arms out for me like I wanted.

“What’s wrong?” I demanded, crossing my arms.  How dare he not hug me back! I was his only daughter!


“Cicely, what are you doing here?”  He asked, eyebrows raised.  “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“Yes I am,”  I pouted, “Why are you here if I’m not supposed to be here?”

Daddy looked like he was in pain.  “Because I do belong here, Cici.  You need to go back.”

“But I don’t want to go back,”  I continued pouting, “Not without you!”

My daddy looked the saddest I’d ever seen him.  I hated seeing Daddy sad.  Daddy should be happy!  With Mama.  “Where’s Mama-“

“I’m sorry baby,” Daddy cut me off, “but you have to go now.”

And then he shoved me away from him.



When I opened my eyes, I was back in the forest.  Everything in my body burned, and I felt like a hole had been drilled through my head.  My hair felt sticky, and I couldn’t move.  I searched around in my vision for anything, but all I saw was the forest growth, and a night riddled with stars.

“Daddy,” I cried, my voice broken.  “Daddy!”



Everything fell into focus as Boris entered my vision, and I felt his hands caress each side of my cheeks.  His touch was feather-light and cautious, contrasting with his crazed eyes.  Seeing him made my body hum with electricity.  “Boris?”  I tried, but my voice wouldn’t work.  I began crying again.  “Boris!

“It’s okay,” He whispered, pushing my bangs back.  “It’s okay.  It’s going to be okay.”



The moon showed her face as I closed my eyes, Boris pulling me close.  The pain evaporated, and then his lips were on mine, cold and hard, and I gave myself to him fully, unable to do anything else.

It was going to be okay.


oof. there’s no way that kiss tasted good.

What am I doing instead of homework?  Writing Boris and Cicely AND listening to Lana Del Rey lmao.  The title is from her song I linked above.

Don’t worry, it’ll probably be okay.





Christmas 2017

little short for you guys 🙂

i might add pictures later, but i’m sleepy and had to get this out of my system.

sexual and gory themes ahead!


The worst thing about being a hooker were the long nights.

And I hated that word.  I took pride in what I did, the money was nice, and I could make just about anyone bow down to me.

Yeah, there were worse things.

I took a long drag from my cigarette, letting the ash flit to the ground.  I tugged the small fabric covering my body tighter around my torso–I missed the days where Sugar Valley never saw snow.  Alas, a dozen or so years ago, some freak phenomenon made it snow and now towards of the year, the seaside valley turns into a god damn frozen tundra.

It was starting to really wear on my skin.

I flicked the last remains of my cigarette to the ground and checked my phone.  My next appointment wasn’t too far off; I was due to meet the guy at a sleazy motel, who I found was quickly becoming a regular of mine.  It was good and bad news–he paid well, so I could always count on the cash, but it also meant he was probably developing feelings for me, and if that happened, I’d have to quit seeing him all together.  Bye-bye, rent money, and bye-bye custody of kid sister.

Whenever the nights began to drag on, I’d just think about supporting Endive.  Was a little creepy, in a way, considering I associated sleeping with people with the same train of thought as my sister, but sometimes it was the only thing getting me through the night.

I met my regular at the exact time he specified–he liked to be punctual.  I did too, particularly when it came down to how many orgasms I needed to give in an allotted amount of time.

It was fun to try and beat my records.

Mr.Regular didn’t like it when we didn’t take it slow.  That was fine, but that only further cemented my fear that he was getting feelings.  He should know better.  But I let him do what he wants, since he’s paying me.  And men typically want to get their money’s worth.

Mr.Regular’s time is up and I’m already up and getting dressed, inspecting my reflection in a small compact mirror.   He’s laying across the bed, though, and it only serves to irritate me.

“I don’t do this for free,”  I say, closing the mirror.  “You’ve been lovely, but I need to go now.”

Mr.Regular plasters a frown on his face and I have to stop myself from visibly cringing.  “Aren’t I your last appointment?”

I narrow my eyes.  “No,” I lie, slipping on my light jacket.  “I have a few more tonight, so I gotta bounce.”

Mr.Regular sighs, then gets up and pays me.  I smile and kiss his cheek.  And then I leave, because I always leave, and I need to get a head start on him if I’m gonna avoid him leaving, too.

I try to spark up a cigarette the second I get outside, but the wind has since picked up and I have way too much trouble trying to light it, so I resolve to leave the cigarette in my mouth and walk a little further until I get a chance to light it.  It’s fucking freezing, but I never park my car anywhere near my appointments, because that just seems unsafe.  Everything is fine and dandy until I feel a hand on my shoulder, and suddenly I’m pulled face-to-face with Mr.Regular.   Fuck.

“I thought I wasn’t your last appointment,” he drawls dangerously, and I roll my eyes.

“You’re not,” I affirm, shrugging his hand off of me.  “I’m on my way to another one right now.”

“I don’t think you are,”  He growls, and then his hands are on me, and I feel my skin crawl.  “I think you’re lying to me.”

“And why would I do that?”  I scoff, trying to conceal the feeling of dread that has now since settled in my stomach.  “I’m a busy woman.  High demand and all that.”

Mr.Regular eyes me up and down, and I actually feel violated.  “How much will it take to be your only appointment from now on?”

I push him away from me.  “It doesn’t work like that.”

He only grabs me more, pulls me towards him like I’m some prize on a platter.  “Name it, Lucuma.   I’ll do anything for you to be all mine.”

I try to free myself but he’s too strong.  “I’m not yours or anyone’s,”  I spit, venom dripping on every word.  “Get the fuck off of me.”

“No,”  He responds quickly, and finally has me pulled directly against him.  “You’ll be mine, or you won’t be anyone’s.”

He’s way too strong, but I can’t give up.  “I already told you to get the fuck off of me,”  I nearly yell, hoping to draw someone’s attention.  “Stop it!”

Mr.Regular isn’t listening though, and is trying to take my clothes off.  This is absolutely 100% not okay, and obviously unwanted, but I doubt anyone is going to believe a prostitute that she was raped.  But I try to yell anyways.  “Fucking stop!”

And then the world seemed to stop.

Suddenly Mr.Regular is bleeding from his nose, collapsed on the ground.  He’s swearing as I try to situate myself, and I resist the urge to kick him while he’s down.  My apparent savior, however, has no qualms about being uncivil, and proceeds to beat Mr.Regular senseless, straddling him and absolutely pounding his face in.  It looks pretty bad, but the asshole deserves it.

I shiver as the man, no, boy, turns around, knuckles bloody.  He’s handsome, too handsome, with piercing eyes that seem to penetrate my very being, and I can’t help but slightly fear this kid, seeing how he just beat the hell out of a grown man.

“Thanks,”  I muster, reserved.  The kid shrugs and then rifles through Mr.Regular’s clothes, and I notice him take the rest of the money of his wallet.  He swings back around and pushes it towards me, and I barely grasp the crisp bills.  “That’s not necessary,” I start, a little taken back.  This person was way too nice, if not absolutely insane.”

He’s silent as he leans down, and I notice that he picks up my unlit cigarette that must have fallen out of my mouth, and he gently puts it in my mouth.  He fishes a lighter and a cigarette of his own out of his expensive looking jacket, and sticks his lighter out at me.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,”  He finally says, and his voice is golden and beautiful and sounds like a teenaged girl’s wet dream, if a gritty one.  “But you look like you could use a light.”

I smirk and lean over for him to light my cigarette, and notice I’m a few inches taller than him.  He can’t be more than fifteen, sixteen tops.  I take a long drag and blow the smoke above us, taking him in.  “I did, thanks.”

He smirks back and lights his own cigarette, and motions down to Mr.Regular.  “He’s probably going to need stitches.”

I shrug.  “Probably.”

“But you probably don’t care, do you?”

“No,”  I smile wider, “I don’t.  I think we should let him bleed out here.”

The man matches my smile.  “I agree.”  He holds his arm out for me, and I take it.

“I’m Lucuma,”  I say, because it feels necessary, and this kid possibly saved my life.

“Sterling,” He says back, not stopping our stroll.

His grasp on me tightens but in a good way, like a prayer weaving its’ way into my core.  I decide I like the kid.   “Well Sterling, I think I owe you my life.”

“On the contrary,” He supplies, stopping us.  “You just owe me a light.”

He has already finished his cigarette, and had already used his free hand to put another one in his mouth.  We pull apart so I can use my lighter to light it for him.  Then we stand in silence for a bit, sizing each other up.

“I think you’re my new best friend, Sterling.”  I say, because it feels right, and his eyes light up in a ways I’ve never seen in anyone.

“Well, Lucuma,” he replies, “I’m happy to be of service.”

And I knew in that moment, he was the kind of man who could change my life.


This takes place during christmas eve lol, i just didn’t think that dialogue belonged anywhere in this text.

Thanks for reading ❤



jump. (monthly simlits, november 2017)

note: this month’s prompt is “fear will by thy enemy”.  i really like the idea of expanding on victoria and nathan’s story, so here it is.

enjoy <3.



we met in second grade.

it was at the local pool, and i was terrified.  i had always been slightly afraid of water, for whatever reason.  i didn’t like that i could submerge myself into something i couldn’t see the end of, nor the fact that so much of my body was on display.  so i sat, huddled near the end of the pool, trying not to cry as my mother and sister coaxed me from inside the foreboding waters.


a boy who looked around my age was suddenly next to me, looking equally as nervous.  “hi,” i said back. “i’m victoria.”

“i’m nathan,” apparently nathan said.  “are you okay?”

“yes,” i replied, but a single tear fell down my face.  “no.”

“what’s wrong?”

“i’m scared of the water,” i explained, “but mama really wants me to come in.”

nathan shrugged.  “can you swim?”

“i don’t know,” i answered, “i’ve never tried.”

“i think you should, it could be fun!”  he smiled, which made me smile.  “try it.”


i nodded, and motioned for my mother to come over to catch me as i jumped in.  i turned back towards nathan, who hadn’t moved.  “aren’t you gonna come with me?”

“nah,” nathan smiled, “i can’t swim.”


i knew him in high school, but he didn’t know me.

he had a reputation, and i didn’t, until i did.

actually, no one really knew me, until my sister was in an accident.  then suddenly everyone knew me, and it was overwhelming.  coping with the loss of my sister while dealing with a swarm of attention didn’t bode well for a good start to my senior year, and i soon found myself skipping class, just to get away from people.  too many people thought i was a broken little project, eager to help, when all i wanted was to get away.

it was different with nathan.  he was also a project, but not like me.  i couldn’t tell you how many times girls i’d seen girls crying in the bathroom over him, how many broken hearts he left in his wake.  he wasn’t the little boy who couldn’t swim, not anymore.  now he dove into a sea of girls every day, leaving one in worse shape than the last.  they all thought they could fix him, too.

maybe that’s what drove us together.


he was in my spot.

i always sat next to the same tree every day during fifth period, just to take a breather.  my history professor always slept through the movies he’d show us, and i kept up with my work, so no one ever came looking for me.  and he was disrupting that.

“hey,” i said, sitting down next to him.  “you’re in my spot.”

he seemed legitimately surprised to see me, his book nearly falling out of his hands.  he composed himself a bit before talking.  “i didn’t realize it was anyone’s spot, i’m sorry.”

i sighed.  “it’s fine.”


and then we sat in silence.  it was the most awkward experience of my life, sitting next to the most sought after guy in school just doing nothing.  he didn’t seem to know what to do, either, so i opted to just try zone everything out.

“have you ever read shakespeare?”

his question snapped me out of my trance.  “no,” i lied, trying to see where this was going to go.  “why?”  he didn’t have to know that’s all i ever read.

his hand accidentally brushed mine, and it took all of my will power not to dart away.  “nothing, you just look like you could be his muse.”


it started out small.

i opened my locker one day, and a folded up piece of paper was sent sailing to the floor.  my heart lept out of my chest when i saw that sonnet fifteen was written in pretty cursive, followed by a wave of nausea.  i knew it was nathan, but he probably did this with all the girls.  i was already terrified of being taken advantage of, let alone to let this happen.

i threw the note in the trash.

the following day, sonnet eighteen was waiting for me.  i fought to contain my blush all day, but it didn’t work.  and he saw.  i know he saw.  and i knew he saw when i threw the note away, again.

i kept the note when he left sonnet one-hundred and forty-seven, because it was a favorite of mine.

i kept them all after that.


he was in my spot again.

“i want to be with you,” he said abruptly.  “you must know that.”

i swallowed, because i wanted him, too.  but i wanted that little boy who gave me strength, not the man before me.  “you know that i know the stories.  you’ll use me because that’s all you know how to do.”

“no,” he shook his head, grabbing my hand.  “the rules don’t apply to you, they never did.”

“how do i know that?”  i snapped, turning away from him.


“because,” he pulled me towards him, “i gave you support, right?  you couldn’t swim, but you jumped right in.  and i’ve never forgotten that.  and i’ll support you now.”

“you remember,” i breathed, looking up at him.  “you remember.”

“i could never forget you.”

anxiety slid through my veins as his face grew closer to mine, every inch instilling fear in me.  “you’re not good for me.”

“no,” he agreed, “probably not.”

“and people are going to talk about us, and they’re going to tell me things, real things.”

“they are,” he agreed again, “but you know you’re different.”

i swallowed.  this was the scariest thing i’d ever experienced in my life.  i took a breath, and looked him in the eyes. “i grant i never saw a goddess go, my mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground, and yet, by heaven-”

“-i think my love as rare, as any she belied with false compare.”


i was asking him to jump in.

and he dove.


holy god, it was so hard to make this just 1000 words.  i think i really like the idea of expanding on these two lol, so maybe i will over on my tumblr, but idk.  i hope you enjoyed ❤

monthly simlits is over here.


Generation Six, Chapter Five [Your Heart Beats Wildly Within Me]

Generation Six, Chapter Five,

{Your Heart Beats Wildly Within Me}


To say I was terrified of the jump was putting it lightly.

Boris legitimately had me hang on to his back, and then descended from my balcony in such a manner that the only thing I could fathom at the time was how precise it was.  As if it was in his daily ritual to jump from three stories.  Not to mention he didn’t utter a single complaint or break any bones, so any and all thoughts I had about him possibly being human were sent to the chopping block immediately.

It was like a fairy tale, a princess being rescued from her tower–but this time, it wasn’t a handsome prince rescuing me.  It was some sort of monster.  A beautiful monster.

As the distance between us and the only home I ever knew grew further, anxiety festered in my chest.  I knew what I wanted, I knew I wanted adventure, I knew I wanted to go with Boris.  I wanted to see the world, literally and figuratively.  All I had ever known was well decorated walls and a sheltered life style.   I knew the public barely knew what I looked like, let alone my significance.  I loved my family dearly-but I had to do something for myself.


We didn’t stop for what seemed like hours.  The world seemed to pass by as a blur as I clung to Boris’ back and it all felt like a dream.  Finally, he let me down, just as dawn appeared to break in the sky.  “We should stop for now,”  Boris said, “Make camp and move again at dusk.”

He reached into the small pouch attached to his belt, and I had to blink a few times to fully comprehend what he pulled out.   A large pack emerged from within, easily ten times the size of the pouch.  I felt my jaw drop, and Boris looked up at me sheepishly.  “It’s an extension charm.”

“Um, okay,”  I sputtered.  “Any other magic tricks that I should know about?”

Boris smiled.  “No, little Rose.  Not really.”

Boris set up camp quicker than my eyes could see, as if it had happened in mere moments.  After he was finished, he clapped his hands together, satisfied with his work.  I merely eyed him from where I stood.


“What?”  He asked, again, looking bashful.  “Okay, so maybe there are…a few more magic tricks that I can do.”

I merely looked away from him, trying to wrap my head around the last few minutes.  None of it was logical.  None of it.  I decided it was best to drop it and let it marinate some more before I assaulted him with too many questions.  “Where are we going?”

He smiled.  “My dear, have you ever heard of the Wanderer’s Forest?”

“I’m not sure,”  I answered, “Though I believe there is an account of my great-great-great grandmother talking of such a place when she was married.  But no one really knows where.”

“That’s because there’s no set place for it.  It doesn’t exist in this time or the next, only in it’s own.  And that’s where we’re going.”

The foliage around me suggested that we weren’t that far off.  “Are we close?”

Boris nodded, securing his pouch now that everything had been emptied.  “Very.”

“How can you tell, if it doesn’t exist?”

Boris gave me a thoughtful look.  “Magic has a way of finding magic.”  When he didn’t elaborate, I gave him a cold stare, which in turn earned me a more elaborate answer.  “I think you know that I’m not human.  I have abilities that others do not.  I can do many things that normal person cannot grasp.  And because of this, I can navigate the forest.”

“I see,”  I murmured, “And what happens when we get there?”

“Why Rose,”  Boris said, looking at me eagerly.  “Anything you want.”



Thoughts spinning, I laid down in the extravagant tent and tried to rest.  Boris had instructed me to stay within the camp and disappeared,  riddling me with anxiety.  He was being very secretive about where he was going, but promised to be back before the sun rose completely.  Nothing was making sense, but if I was being honest with myself, it was thrilling.  I couldn’t remember ever being outside this long, or away from my family.  If I were truly to rule this country,  I would be woefully unprepared if I had continued to merely live in my home and never being seen.  I needed to experience things on my own, for once in my life.

Sleep alluded me, so I pulled my sweater back on and sat at the fire Boris had made, digging my hands into the grass and relishing the feeling.  The sky was a beautiful sight, the air was fresh, and the sounds of the forest made it a tranquil scene.  I found myself in a lull before I heard the distinct sound of a branch snapping.

Logically, I knew it was probably Boris.  We hadn’t seen anyone else during our travels, and it no one would be looking for me yet.  We still had a few hours before the cavalry would be released, or at least, I hoped it’d be a few more hours.  There was always a possibility…

So instead of preparing a warm welcome for Boris, I prepared myself to run.



I released the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding, a wave of relief washing over me when Boris came in to view.  He didn’t share the sentiment, however, and wore a weary look.

“Did something happen while I was gone?”

I shook my head, and rose to greet him.  “No, I was just…prepared for anything, I guess.”

Boris gave me a small smile before furrowing his brow.  He tilted his head a bit and surveyed the area, which only caused me to go on edge again.  “You didn’t see anyone else while I was gone?”

“If I had, I would’ve told you.”  I said, definitely not liking the look on his face.  “What can you sense that I can’t?”

He shook his head, and his smile returned, this time in full force.  My heart fluttered at the sight, and I felt secure again.

“It’s nothing, Rose,”  He said, suddenly pulling me into an embrace.


Nothing at all.


lol it’s definitely something.

Oh hey, I forgot I had this chapter written already!  Totally could’ve released this eons ago.  Sorry!

Also Cicely is so PRETTY oh my god



Generation Six, Chapter Four [Your Hand In Mine]

Generation Six, Chapter Four

{Your Hand In Mine}


My sight had been restored one week before my eighteenth birthday.  The illusion of time had been distorted for me, but I knew–because Boris had told me.

I had stopped dreaming of my parents.  I only dreamt of him.  And honestly, it wasn’t so bad.  Though I missed my parents dearly, Boris was a comfort I never knew I was missing out on.  He led me through the forest I had always been in, telling me stories of his world.  He also provided me sympathy when the real world became too much to bare, when I locked up and shook over the memory of what could have been, what my parents were to me.  He apologized for hurting me, but he never really did.  If anything, he gave me a chance at a new life, painted with the memories of my parents, and I could grow into it.


“There’s a lot of responsibility coming my way,”  I had said one night, my hand in his as he guided me through thick reeds and spring flowers.  “I was born into something much bigger than myself.”

Boris didn’t turn to look at me, but I heard him chuckle.  “You have no idea.”

He let go of my hand to dart over a rock, and then waited for me.  He reminded me of a cat, with how quick and nimble he was, which didn’t really match his appearance at all.  I wouldn’t call him intimidating, but he certainly didn’t appear to be a kitten.

“I’m literally a princess,”  I said, taking his hand again. “I have every idea.  I don’t have a choice, but that’s alright.”

“What if you did?”

“What?” I countered, letting go. That amount contact alone was enough to make me blush, and I didn’t really fully understand what happened to me when he held my hand. “What do you mean?”

“You’ll see soon enough.”

I frowned.  He was always saying things like that.  “You’re very cryptic.”

“Cryptic?  Do you realize where you are?”

“Do you?

The familiar inky black began to curl around us, a tell-tale sign that I was going to wake up.  Boris turned around and waved.

“See you soon, Rose.”



I woke on the morning of my birthday to the sound of what I could only describe as a duck dying…or drowning…or something. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I rose to see Auntie Lucuma and Grandpa beaming at me, sound makers attached to their mouths which appeared to be the source of the duck in distress.  Regardless, I smiled anyways.

“What’s this?”  I said, eyeing them.  The two grown adults appeared to be absolutely glowing with glee.

“It’s your birthday, silly!”  Auntie Lucuma said, jumping in place.  “We have to celebrate!”

“I really don’t need anything special,” I started, but Grandpa cut me off.

“Nonsense, you only turn eighteen once, and Wonderland knows that when I turned eighteen,”

“Right,”  Auntie Lucuma sighed, glaring at Grandpa.  “I’m sure that Cici doesn’t need to know any of that, old man.”  She elbowed him in the ribs, which earned a groan from him, and she returned to smiling.  “We baked you a cake.”

“A cake,”  I murmured, “That’s so nice-“


Grandpa cut in.  “Actually, your grandmother and I baked a cake.  Your aunt ruined three.”

Once again, my grandpa was elbowed in the ribs.

“Well,”  Auntie Lucuma said.  “Come downstairs when you’re ready.  We have a whole day planned for you!”

I smiled at them as they left my room, the two already bickering over frosting and who exactly do you think you are telling her how horrible I am at baking.


The smile fell as soon as the door closed, and I turned my arms over to see the scars that had begun to fade.  It was strange, knowing I did that to myself, felt myself do it, but never actually saw how it happened.  If I were to brush a finger over the scars, they would burn and ache.  Strange.

It was nothing compared to the sick feeling in my chest that wound it’s way into my heart as I lifted the covers and padded over to my desk, my mind foggy.

Mama died eighteen years ago today.

I’d read enough books to understand what grief was.  It was what I felt when I woke up from seeing my parents, it was what I saw in Auntie Lucuma’s eyes when we visited their graves, and it’s what made my grandmother’s hands shake on the day of her coronation.

No one had ever outright told me that I was the reason that she was dead, but it was obvious, logical, really.  The anniversary of her death was on my birthday, after all.  Even if time was a touchy subject in Wonderland, those two things were still absolute.  She must have died bringing me into the world.

If only she were here now.


But now that I knew her, I knew what she would say now.  She wouldn’t want me dwelling on the past, wouldn’t want me to think any less of myself because of what happened.  She would want me to grow and be stronger because of it, and not let her sacrifice go to waste.

I wouldn’t.   But that didn’t mean I wasn’t allowed to mourn.

So when I pulled my sweater on over my head, tears were flowing freely down my face.  When I pulled my socks on to my feet and up my legs, my heart ached for the woman I had come to know.  And when I turned to the mirror to fix my hair…

I held in a scream, because Boris stood behind me.


“Oh my-”  I cried, before quickly quieting myself.  Boris was staring at me with such intensity that I had to look away, but my anger boiled under my skin.  “What are you doing here?  You scared me!  And how long have you been there?”

“Long enough.”  Boris said, moving towards me.  My heart pounded against my rib cage with each step he took, and I had to actually clutch a hand to my chest for the sake of my sanity.  If he noticed, he was too kind to remark upon it.  “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks,” I spat, crossing my arms.  “Is this another dream?  This isn’t our usual venue.”

Boris’ lips turned up into his Cheshire grin.  “I’m very real,”  he held out his arm as he drew nearer,  and I was positive that my entire body would turn into a puddle at any moment.  “Touch me.”


“That hardly seems appropriate,”  I whispered, my eyes returning to his.  They were such a violet intensity that it took my breath away.  His smile only grew.

“You’re not going to believe me if you don’t.”

Well, he was right.  “Fine.”

Time seemed to stop as I closed the distance between us, gently pressing my fingertips on the edge of his forearm.  He was cold to the touch, but still sent electricity through my palms to my veins.  The next thing I noticed is how firm he felt, how strong he probably was.  He had wisps of hair sprouting down his arms that I curled my fingertips into. I gently lifted my hand to rest over his heart, before I realized how memorized I had been. Looking back up, I realized he hadn’t taken his eyes off of me, and I flushed under his gaze. “What?”

“You’re just very beautiful.”

“Oh,”  I whispered, face burning.  “Um-“

“I have a present for you, Rose.”

“Funny, I don’t see a present,”  I said, trying to tone down my excitement.  I couldn’t help it.  The man of my literal dreams was here, in the flesh, wishing me happy birthday, and he got me a present?

Boris flashed me a smile.  “I want you to come with me.”

“Where?”  I blurted without hesitation, but quickly bit my tongue.  It was slightly absurd that I’d just agree to follow a man with no destination anyways, or even ask for details.  Even if I trusted him.  Even if I felt like I was compelled to follow this man to the ends of the earth.


Boris took my hands in his.  “Before you agree, you must know something.  I want to take you on adventures you’ve never known, Rose.  I want you to see the world for all it’s worth, because you deserve all of it.  And it will be yours, in time.  You’re the heir to an ancient throne and I hope you realize that.”

I swallowed.  “I could never forget such a thing.”

He knelt before me, still holding my hand.  “So you must know I would never let any harm come to you, lest your family line were to die.  I will protect you, always, until my dying breath, because I am yours.”  He dropped his head, as if he was worshiping me, and I felt as though it might make me fly away. “However, because we made a binding contract, you must come with me.  Something awful will happen if you don’t.”

“Like what?”  I asked, suddenly feeling like a giant weight was pressing down on my chest.

“When you make a contract with…someone like me, and you break it, one of us will die.”


“Oh,”  I whispered.  “That certainly narrows down the options, doesn’t it?”

Boris nodded.  “I’m afraid so.”

I crossed my arms and considered my options.  He hadn’t specified who died, really, but my intuition told me that it wouldn’t be him.  But where were we going?  And for how long?  I had an obligation to claim the throne when it was time.  Not to mention, my family would search the ends of the earth for me.  “So when do we leave?”

“Well, now, preferably.  But I realize you probably want to spend your birthday with your family.”  Boris said, who seemed taken aback that I had agreed so quickly.  “As long as we leave before midnight, it should be fine.”

“Does something happen at midnight?”  I asked, though I already knew the answer.

“When the clock strikes twelve, that is when one of us will die.”


I nodded.  “Oddly enough, that makes sense.”

“That’s typically how these things go,”  Boris offered me a smile that I couldn’t help but return.  “When you are ready, we will go.”

“Where are we going?”  I blurted, trying to quell the feeling of nausea in my stomach.

“Why, my Rose, everywhere.”


I almost regret walking down the stairs, because every moment spent with my family only made my heart ache.  I was leaving them, for real this time, and I had no idea when I would see them again.  Auntie Lucuma’s smile and grandpa’s soft eyes followed me everywhere through the day, and even my grandmother was happy.  I knew the weight of the crown was always pressing heavily on her shoulders, but seeing her laugh with the rest of us made her seem more human than normal.

But I knew, that later, I would be breaking all of their hearts, and the thought broke my own a thousand times over.


I bade everyone goodnight earlier than usual, but no one questioned it.  I wasn’t surprised at all to see Boris in my room, gazing out of my window overlooking our backyard.  He turned almost immediately at my presence, looking almost solemn.  “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,”  I said, grabbing a bag of clothes and other necessities.  “Just let me do one more thing.”

“Of course.”



I’m finally going on my own adventure.  Even though I’m almost forced to go, I’m happy to.  I feel like I can trust Boris, even if I really wish he would’ve revealed to me the details of our contract before I agreed.  Although, I was a child, so I’m not sure I would’ve really understood it.

I wouldn’t trade the memories I’ve made with you and daddy for the world, though.  This will be worth it, I know that in my heart.  And there is always the promise of return.  I’ll be back for you, and make you and daddy proud of the woman I will have become.  I only hope everyone else will understand, and not try to follow me.  The world barely knows about my existence as it is, so hopefully there won’t be a nation wide panic like with… well, you know, daddy.

I don’t have much more time left.  I need to go.   I love you mama, sweet dreams.


Cicely Rose Liddell.



Kinda long, but necessary, lol.  Next chapter might be a time skip?  So Cicely will actually be aged up to a young adult.  Also the way the Liddell house was built, this was actually Summer’s room since she was going to be the Juliet, and it has a balcony.  (That’s also why there’s like pink stuff lol.)  So they wouldn’t be detected, Boris just threw Cicely on his back and they hopped off the thing!  (cus he’s magic and stuff.)

Anyways, thanks for reading ❤